We have all heard of and know the Golden Rule:

“Do with others what you would like others to do with you.”

Or something like that.

The golden rule does not work in love relationships

The problem is that the Golden Rule does not work in love relationships.

I realize this may not make sense at first glance. So let’s think well.

Each person has their own preferred way of receiving love. Some people like to see it, some like to hear it, some like to feel it.

It is part of human nature to give love in the way we would most like to receive it. Sounds good, right?

The problem is that two people who have the same preferred love language rarely get together.

So if I like to receive love by listening to it, if I follow the golden rule, I will give love with words. But, what if my partner receives love better by seeing it?

I could say I love you all day and my partner would think this is cute but what have you done for me lately?

Discovering the platinum rule

So what do we do?

The Platinum Rule states that we should do to others what they would like to be done to them.

So if I’m in a relationship with a person whose love language is to see him, then I need to show him that I love him through the things that I do. At the same time, if my love language is listening to him, then she would need to show me love with words.

Try the Platinum Rule on your relationship and see if communication and closeness improve.