Many of us are still old enough to remember the days when parking in front of a client’s office building in an ultra-cool, gas-addicted, and growling car was halfway to impressing them that you and your company had to be the best. in your industry.

Today, driving to a client’s office in an expensive gas guzzler can have precisely the opposite effect, making socially conscientious clients see you as if you just crawled out of a drain for being so selfish and inconsiderate of the planet. .

Then there’s the envy / jealousy / spiteful factor, of course

A few years ago I showed up at a client’s office in a brand new car, not flashy, but nice. The customer looked out the window as I turned the key off and said, “Nice car. We must be paying too much.” He said it with an icy smile, but I knew it bothered him.

If the same thing had happened in North America, where I think people can be envious without being jealous, the customer reaction would probably have been, “Nice car. Nice to see your business doing well.”

So be careful if your business is in the UK … leave the vintage Bugatti at home and take the gardener’s truck with you.

So what does your mode of transportation say?

RollsRoyce or Bentley

Movie stars over the hill (rented) and fat Middle Eastern aristocrats (owned and driven at blazing speeds, especially if it’s a supercharged Bentley). Considered tasteful, if hysterically eccentric, only when it is a pre-1960 model.

Ferrari, Lamborghini, etc.

British soccer player, American rapper, minor Arab prince, Kardashian. These cars look like big scooters with speeds close to Mach 1 and cabs that only fit shorter hair extensions, making them unsuitable for most female stars (although Kim K is getting pretty good at getting into it).

Mercedes

Moderately successful entrepreneurs in North America, quirky executives in the UK. Most Germans and other Western Europeans use Mercedes as taxis and think the British are crazy to treat them with such reverence. Be careful when doing business in continental Europe; You may think it’s a new colleague waving at you, but it’s probably an idiot calling a cab.

Audi

Discreet class and good taste. Audi has always tended to have a neutral socioeconomic profile, unlike BMW (flashy and nouveau riche), Volvo (very boring), Skoda (cheap and nasty), Volkswagen (a bit boring), Ford (snake oil salesman) , etc. . Audi’s image has remained neutral despite being the preferred wheel choice for several members of the British royal family, which speaks volumes for its star power.

Large SUV / 4WD / 4×4

Ruthless and wealthy owner of a fast food chain, a slightly dubious real estate agent, elderly sportsman or a nervous 5’2 “mother looking over the wheel taking two young children to daycare. As eco-friendly as a neutron bomb So a no-no if you sell rooftop solar panels or aromatherapy oils.

Carriers of people

Known in the US as “minivans,” these seats seat 7 or 8 people and suggest you’re a minor movie or rock star (if windows are darkened) jumped cabbie (depending on which door you enter) out de), or parent of a large family (be sure to wipe the baby’s vomit off your business suit before exiting the vehicle).

Smart car

Would you really have the nerve to show up to a meeting on a four-wheel potty where not even Noddy and Big Ears would be seen dead? Useful if your client’s office is in the city center because you can park it next to garbage cans. If you must drive one, make sure your business suit has decent-sized pockets so you can hide the beastly thing in there with your keys and phone.

Convertible sports car

Great if you are young already) you are a man and / or b) you have a very short hairstyle. Not great for smartly dressed women (hair and makeup go slobbery at over 30 mph and you end up with the skirt around your neck when getting in and out) or middlemen trying to prove they’re not going through male menopause.

Motorcycle

It depends. Going to a meeting on a retro Vespa is great if you’re in one of the woo-woo industries, but if your client is in a macho business, they’ll think you’re a nerd. A Honda Goldwing or a large Harley gives your look a lot of grunts, but remember that most “Easy Rider” bike enthusiasts are over 60 with tattoos all over and gray ponytails dangling down to their feet. ankles. Make sure it matches your company brand.

Bike

15 or 20 years ago, going to a business meeting in an expensive suit with bike clips and a helmet would make you look like a fool. Today it is considered to be environmentally friendly and saves money, a fact that politicians and industry leaders have not overlooked, who make sure that the paparazzi get good photos of them pedaling to Buckingham Palace or down Wall Street. . But be real. Going to work or a meeting with a client on your bike in the rain sucks. It does not matter to be fashionable; take the subway.

Segway

My fantasy … well you probably get to a meeting about one of these, says idiot, fat, wacko freelance business writer. To hell with that; I want a Segway even though I would surely fall flat on my face within the first 30 yards. In the meantime, I’ll stick with my Volkswagen (a bit boring).

What do you think your wheels say about you and your business?