You had a dream of having your horses home and riding off into the sunset. There is only one problem. Your trusty steed turns into a screaming nervous wreck when you try to get her away from the other horses. You feel like you don’t really have control over her and you are losing her trust.

This is not a dream. It’s a nightmare!

First, it is important to understand what is causing this behavior. Horses are herd animals. To them, they are vulnerable when separated from the pack. Vulnerable as if they possibly became dinner for some predator that they just know is waiting to pounce on them!

If you’ve ever gotten lost, or lost sight of your child, in an unfamiliar place where you don’t know anyone, you’ve probably been left alone, scared, and vulnerable. Maybe even a little panic.

This is how your horse feels when he is separated from his herd. It’s called Separation Anxiety.

You can help your horse feel comfortable being socially isolated from other horses by using a systematic approach that gradually expands your horse’s comfort zone while reinforcing the positive association with being alone without causing him to panic.

Behaviors that are reinforced are strengthened.

If your horse feels anxious every time he leaves his herd, then that is the behavior that is being reinforced. Leaving your herd is always a negative and stressful experience.

These are my 4 steps to help your sour horse friend be calm around you.

Step 1 – Find out how far away from your friends your horse can be while remaining calm and comfortable. You have identified your comfort zone. That may be just on the other side of the paddock fence. So be it. That’s where you start.

Step 2 – Walk a few meters away from your comfort zone paying special attention to see when your anxiety begins. At the first sign of tension, take her back to her comfort zone until she calms down.

Step 3 – Do things that she likes while you work with her. Things that feel good like getting ready, scratching her favorite spots, giving her a special treat like carrots or apples. Try to feed him morning and evening grain away from the other horses, just outside of that comfort zone. If she doesn’t want to eat, you’ve gone too far out of her comfort zone, she takes her back. If she’s a little stressed, but she wants to eat, you’re in the right place.

Step 4 – When your horse is calm on the other side of the paddock fence, lead him around the perimeter of the paddock. But, only if it is a safe area with no potential dangers to you or her. Walk with her up her driveway, if it’s not too far from the meadow.

Remember that your purpose is to give him good experiences while he is with you and away from his friends. So take it easy and gradually widen the area that takes it over.

Consistency and regular repetition affect the time it takes to effect positive change. Therefore, work with your horse as often as you can. Keep sessions short – a few minutes repeated a couple of times a day or 3 times a week is much more beneficial than an hour once a week.

Remember that your horse is suffering from genuine stress and anxiety. She doesn’t enjoy or want to feel like this any more than you do.

When you understand your horse’s perspective and can help him have good experiences around you using this systematic training method, he’ll feel more comfortable and confident in your presence. And in the end, you and her will have a much stronger bond.