Real Estate

Key benefits of lending private money on real estate

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Lending to real estate investors offers the private lender many benefits not otherwise enjoyed through other means. Before we get into the benefits, let’s briefly explore what private money lending is. In the real estate finance industry, private money lending refers to money that an individual, not a bank, lends to a real estate investor in exchange for a predetermined rate of return or other consideration. Why private loans? Banks do not typically lend to investors on properties that require improvements to reach market value, or “after repair value” (ARV). Smart people with cash available in a brokerage account or self-directed IRA realize they can fill the gap left by banks and earn a higher return than they can currently in CDs, bonds, savings and market accounts. currency, or even the stock market. Thus a market was born, and it has become essential for real estate investors.

Private money loans would not have become popular unless lenders saw great value in them. Let’s review the main advantages of becoming a private money lender.

Terms are negotiable – The lender can negotiate the interest rate and possible profit sharing with the borrower. In addition, interest and principal payments can also be negotiated. Any mutually agreeable arrangement for a private loan is permissible.

Return of investment – Current interest rates charged on private money loans are generally between 7% and 12%. These rates, as of April 2018, are currently higher than the yields on CDs, savings, and money market accounts. They are also higher than the 4.7% that the stock market has produced, adjusted for inflation, since 1/1/2000. That’s over 18 years.

Guarantee provided – The real estate property serves as collateral for the loan. Most real estate investors buy their properties at a significant discount on the market. This discount provides the lender with quality assurance in the event of a borrower’s default.

choice – The private money lender can choose who to lend to or in which project to lend. They can get detailed information about the project, the experience of the investors, and the type of profits that are typically made.

No effort – The Lender only cares about the loan. The investor assumes all other risks and does the work of finding, buying, repairing, and selling the property. The lender only charges interest.

Stability – Real estate has its ups and downs. But its volatility is not as pronounced as that of the stock market. Also, when purchased at an appropriate discount, the property provides a cushion against the ups and downs.

Tax Free/Tax Deferred – A private money lender can lend on real estate from a self-directed IRA. Earnings made can grow tax-free or tax-deferred, helping you build retirement savings faster than ever.

Diversification – Real asset, tangible, brick and mortar loans provide additional diversification to a lender’s portfolio to provide protection in the event of a down period.

If you have a desire to invest in real estate, but don’t want to take on all the associated risks, or get your hands dirty, private lending could provide you with a wide range of opportunities and benefits to increase your wealth and provide for your retirement. .

Shopping Product Reviews

Latest Mobile Phones – Enjoy Advanced Features In A Cost-Effective Way

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Cell phones have seen many inventions and discoveries when it comes to features. Gone are the days when people had to carry around a brick-sized phone with few features. Now, consumers carry small but advanced electronic devices with amazing and advanced features. The latest mobile phones are equipped with digital cameras, music player, Bluetooth, fast internet connectivity, office tools, etc. They are giving strong competition to other devices like handy cam, Walkman, digital cameras, laptops etc. All the major brands have entered the mobile industry, including Apple, Samsung, Sony, LG, Nokia, HTC, Blackberry and Motorola.

All mobile manufacturers compete with each other to get the largest market share and attract the largest number of consumers. Few companies have even started to take the services of fashion designers to make more stylish phones. Today, buyers can find the different categories of latest mobile phones such as smartphones, camera phones, music phones, designer phones, social media phones, etc. Manufacturers have introduced various series of devices like Nokia N series, Sony Ericsson Walkman series, Apple iPhone series, Nokia C series, etc. In order to provide the best widgets at a competitive price, mobile phone manufacturers joined with network providers and introduced mobile phone deals. These offers have completely changed the way buyers communicate and think.

The latest mobile phones are loaded with all the advanced technology and specifications such as superior internet connectivity, Bluetooth, large data storage capacity, high resolution digital camera, infrared, GPRS, EDGE, music player, touch screen, QWERTY keyboard, office tools (Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Paint, PDF) and many more. The competition and current market situation allows consumers to buy mobile phones according to their requirements, needs and tastes. The massive competition provides a great opportunity for the buyer to get the new phones without spending more money. Through the online mobile store, you can compare the different offers of all the network providers and choose the product according to your budget at a low price. Consumers even have the option of monthly installments if they are unable to make a lump sum payment.

Technology

How to make your own PSP themes

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I will explain step by step how to make a PSP theme.

  1. First you need the PSP theme maker software, it’s called custom theme converter. You can download it for free.
  2. Then Adobe Photoshop software to edit the image.
  3. Open the custom theme converter. In the information tab, type some title, product ID and version for your PSP theme.
  4. Make the wallpaper. Open the wallpaper in Adobe Photoshop and resize it to 480×272 pixels and save as (.bmp) format with 24-bit color. Then import in the wallpaper tab.
  5. Next, in the category icons, create an icon with an image size format of 64×48 pixels, and then click on the file, save for webthing PNG-8 and 256 color format (it’s important, or your icons will break in PSP Themes Creator).
  6. In the first level icon tab, you need to make the icon with 48×48 pixel image size format and then click file, save for webThing PNG-8 and 256-color format.
  7. Then in the second level icon tab, just create two icons, the default icon and the settings icon. Create the icons with an image size format of 32×32 pixels, and then click on the file, save for webThing PNG-8 and 256-color format.
  8. Next in the other tab. Make a preview icon with 16×16 pixel image size format and then click on the file, save for web, thing PNG-8 and 256-color format. Also make a preview image with 300×170 pixels and save it as (.bmp) format with 24bit color.
  9. And finally, click on the file, then export and save as .ptf file format.
  10. Your PSP theme is ready to put on your PSP.

Thank you for your time.

Business

Flash Mobbing: Marketing in a New Way to Old Clients

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Within marketing circles around the world there has been an enormous amount of attention directed at a relatively new form of marketing called flash mobbing. This marketing model is not only gaining attention, but also making a lot of people incredibly successful.

But first I would like to point out that although this form of marketing is often referred to as flash mobbing, it currently has no name and is the result of a combination of two different marketing strategies.

Originally called tuangou, the system was first developed in mainland China, where buyers organized and approached suppliers to negotiate wholesale prices rather than pay full retail price, as is the case with purchases. individual. Group Buy Created!

Collective buying power has been exploited from the start, not only in China (over 800 group buying sites) but also in North America, where marketers are just beginning to see the potential of this group marketing model. trend.

Despite how obscure they are about each other, the name was changed from tuangou to the much more pretentious name of flash mobbing. However, this is what the mainstream media has chosen to label tuangou.

The true definition of flash mobbing is when a coordinated group of people suddenly gathers in a public place, performs an unusual or senseless act, and then disperses.

Probably the most publicized example of flash mob advertising is the Oprah Winfrey Show when she hosted a concert in downtown Chicago with the Black Eyed Peas. Shortly after her runaway hit “I Got a Feeling,” previously organized groups strategically placed within the audience began performing synchronized dance moves. As the song progressed, like a chain reaction, the entire crowd of about 20,000 people danced in sync with each other.

You are probably wondering how tuangou, the art of collective buying, became flash mobbing. As I did.

A hybrid version of the two has begun to sweep the nation. With group buying sites popping up everywhere, the world is getting used to the concept of group buying. Not to mention saving lots and lots of money in the meantime. However, how do these two seemingly different aspects of marketing come together in one of the most intuitive marketing methods in recent memory? Let’s find out.

In the case of “group buying” sites like Groupon and TeamBuy, we’re seeing a complementary mix of tuangou and flash mobbing. The backbone of their marketing models relies on the tuangou system for purchasing power while exploiting the social web in true “flash mob” fashion. How this is done is where the real genius lies.

Without numbers (ie group) the model falls apart. So how do you create the excitement for buyers to join and, in turn, make crowdsourcing viable? Social networking sites such as Twitter and Facebook. With these sites in your corner and quick accessibility to your buyers, they in turn create a monolithic word-of-mouth marketing machine that automates the tedious work of conventional marketing avenues, all while spending minimal on expenses. If I told you that it could save you thousands of dollars in marketing and eliminate your need for print or radio ads…wouldn’t it grab your attention? Essentially, this significantly reduces the cost of customer acquisition for manufacturers and service providers. Clearly, this is the bait that attracts most CEOs.

Broken down further, it looks like this:

tuangou = collective purchase
flash mob = buzz or word of mouth advertising

The combination of the two, if applied correctly, is an ideal marketing model with the highest possible conversion numbers of any other marketing method. As all businesses compete in this rapidly changing world, we must discover new and intuitive ways to market our goods and services. As Stuart H. Britt once said,

For a company not to advertise is like beating a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing, but no one else does.

With growing popularity and increasing conversions, one might be bold enough to say that we are witnessing the transformation of how marketing can change for 2011 and beyond.

*If you enjoyed the content of this article, I ask that if you feel inclined to reprint it on your site, please leave the credit and accompanying links intact in the footer. Essentially, go ahead and reprint, but do it in its entirety.

Home Kitchen

Creative uses for a side table

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What if you’re looking for decorating ideas and can’t find a blank? Consider these suggestions to breathe new life into a displaced end table.

• Place a side table outside the front door. Use it to support a potted plant during the warm weather months or holiday decorations during the year.

• If you need a central place to store things that the children share, place a side table between their bedrooms. Socks, crayons and coloring books, and DVDs that are moved between rooms will have a permanent place to live.

• Place one inside the front door to store keys, outgoing mail, and sunglasses. If it has a shelf below, store your bag there.

• Put a table in your hallway under something hanging on the wall — a painting, a mirror, a picture. Furniture anchors the artwork and prevents it from appearing to float in space.

• If you have a small conversation area somewhere in your home, use a side table instead of a coffee table so there’s room for your drink, book, or cell phone.

• If you have a side table with a shelf below it, use it as a small bookcase. This could work in the kitchen for cookbooks.

• If you have a side table with a drawer or doors, place it in the bathroom to store toiletries and toilet paper. If you have a shelf, you can store magazines or one of those bathroom essential reading guides. You can use it to store folded towels and washcloths next to the bathtub.

• How about outfitting a table with a basket or beach bucket in the boys’ bathroom and using it to store bath toys?

• Put one near where kids do their homework, and your students will understand where to look for their homework.

• Do you have a dressing room that needs more structured space? Put a side table there, and use the table to place your wallet, cell phone, and jewelry—the things you carry with you every day.

• Put one at the bottom and top of the stairs to store the things you need to make a trip to the other floor.

• Place one in the laundry room to store detergent, dryer sheets, and stain removers.

• If it’s old and worn, but still strong, move the table to the garage. Use it to store your garden tools, recycling bags for the grocery store or umbrella, CDs, and shopping bags with return items—those things that need to be returned to your car.

• Use a weather-resistant metal and glass side table outside on the patio. It can hold your portable stereo or sunscreen.

• If you like to barbecue, put up a grill fence to store tools, dishes and sauce when you’re busy cooking.

• If you have an outdoor bar, use a weather-resistant side table with doors to store bar equipment and supplies.

If you have a nice piece of furniture but it doesn’t match your decor, do a little hands-on work on it.

• Sand the stain and cover the table with polyurethane to match the other furniture in the room.

• Gather a collection of photos and other paper memorabilia on the table and cover it with a piece of tempered glass.

• Sand the table and paint it to match or contrast the decor in your child’s room. Chalkboard paint would be a fun option for a budding artist.

Digital Marketing

Barometric pressure and how it affects animals

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Barometric pressure has a direct effect on life around us. The amount of atmospheric pressure is constantly changing, and sudden changes can create health problems such as migraines in people that affect the behavior of animals. Barometric pressure is a highly searched criteria that hits an average of 201,000 times per month within the United States and gets more than 300,000 searches for the spelling of barometric pressure.

Barometric pressure measures the amount of downward force the atmosphere exerts within a specific column of air. Barometric pressure travels in terms of peaks, flats, and troughs and will rise and fall accordingly. Atmospheric pressure is a key means of predicting the weather 12 to 24 hours in advance and has a 70% accuracy rate. Pressure sensors will detect a drop in atmospheric pressure as inclement weather approaches. Typically, the pressure drops in front of a weather system and then increases as the weather system moves away from the area. High pressure generally means bright, blue, clear days or nights, while periods of normal pressure result in scattered clouds. As the air pressure gauge drops, expect an increase in clouds and possibly thunderstorms as the air pressure continues to drop.

Since people can feel the effects of barometric pressure changes in terms of earaches, dizziness, or headaches, animals are also affected by pressure changes. Many animals are scent dependent, and scent is highly dependent on atmospheric pressure. When the pressure is low in the area, the odor will travel further and higher into the atmosphere, but as the millibars continue to drop, resulting in rain, fog, or snow, the odor will hug the ground and last longer. On high pressure days, the smell will dissipate quickly.

The general relationship between barometric pressure and changing weather conditions results in changes in animal behavior. Both hunters and fishermen monitor sudden drops in millibars to predict an increase in animal movement. This increase in movement can be attributed to animals or fish waiting for inclement weather and survival instincts to feed and build up energy to survive a period of discomfort associated with long-lasting storms.

Hunters, anglers, and those sensitive to changes in barometric pressure can benefit from monitoring and tracking barometric pressure readings from gauges and home weather stations. There are various types of pressure sensors and monitors available on the market. Prices on eBay range from a few dollars to hundreds of dollars for high-end home weather stations that come with a variety of external sensors to measure wind direction, barometric pressure, temperature, and humidity. The barometric pressure sensor on many models keeps track of the last 24 hours of pressure readings allowing the user to determine if the pressure is stable, increasing or decreasing at any given time. The following devices are popular for weather monitoring enthusiasts:

The Honeywell TE923 is a deluxe weather station that costs between $200 and $300 on Amazon.com and uses external sensors like the barometric pressure sensor, temperature and humidity sensors, UV sensor to measure harmful levels of UV, and wind and rain sensors. .

The MFJ 196RC Deluxe Wireless Atomic Weather Station is listed on eBay for just under $200 and also uses external weather sensors to measure and display changes in barometric pressure, wind direction, temperature, and humidity.

One of the disadvantages of this type of home weather station is the difficulty in storing these measurements. All the monitors I’ve seen on eBay and Amazon show roughly the same information with the same graphics. While the Honeywell weather station stores 24 hours of air pressure readings, the MFJ weather station stores 12 to 20 hours of readings. As far as I can tell, these popular models don’t write every data point to an external system or into their memory for long-term analysis. Don’t let that stop you from exploring or buying one of these weather stations, as NOAA collects this type of data from all over the country. I think you can subscribe to your feed and bring up current and historical data for a specific area.

Spending time and money to monitor and track barometric pressure changes can help determine the type of behavior the animals will exhibit. By understanding how the rises and falls of barometric pressure readings will influence animal behavior, a hunter or fisherman will be able to more effectively strategize how to hunt or fish.

Relationship

10 Pounds to Lose – Weight Loss Tips

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You may have 10 pounds to lose and you’re just starting your fat loss program, or it may be the last 10 pounds you lose after months or years of hard work. The last 10 pounds are the easiest to lose and let me tell you how.

1. The power of the mind

One critical thing when it comes to losing the last 10 pounds is the power of the mind. First of all, don’t “try” to lose the last 10 pounds, but do it. Know what is going to happen and expect it to happen. Pretty simple to say, but it’s true. When we get to the last 10 pounds to lose, we start to relax and relax our training and commitment, but I tell you to do the exact opposite. This is the time to step up and speed up, and be increasingly diligent in your choices. You must know in your mind that losing the last 10 pounds is the easiest part of the journey. Use the power of your mind to visualize success and yourself not just standing at the finish line having successfully reached your goal, but even more than that. Visualize yourself accelerating and racing across the finish line. Your motto should be “there is nothing more powerful than a warrior running to the finish line”. Be a fat burning warrior.

2. Increase your metabolism

The last 10 pounds you can lose is as easy as increasing your metabolism through exercise and a change in eating habits.

Diet

If you’re not already eating 5 or 6 meals a day, then now is the time to change your eating strategy and the last 10 pounds to lose will literally fall off your body. Become a fat-burning machine through diet by rethinking how you view food, snacks, and meals. Every time you eat, your body kicks into gear and works hard to digest or burn that food into nutrients your body can use for energy and healing, while the rest is burned as heat (in a process called thermogenic).

working out

If you’ve been on some sort of “last 10 pounds to lose” program, it likely includes exercise. You’re probably doing cardio like crazy. Well you should be. If you haven’t been doing cardio, now is the time to start. If it has been, then now is the time to kick it up a notch. The last 10 pounds to lose is as easy as increasing your performance. Double up your cardio to 6 times per week, or if you’ve already been doing it, do a second cardio session in the evening for a twice daily cardio workout. Wow, that will really get things going. A word of caution: If you increase your exercise output, you may also need to increase your calorie intake a bit to meet your body’s new need for food.

3. Clean up your diet

If all goes well, you can take some time to finally clean up your diet. This means that the last 10 pounds to lose may require rethinking your diet. Are you eating any condiments? Are you eating dairy? Have you been eating low-fat foods thinking they are healthy and designed to help you lose that last 10 pounds?

Here are some simple rules to help you clean up your diet:

o How many names are listed on the ingredients? The fewer the number of items listed, the better for you.

o Can you eliminate condiments from your diet for a short period of time? Ditch the ketchup (which I call tomato flavored sugar), ditch the mayonnaise, ditch the salad dressings. Skip the soy sauce from your rice.

or What are you drinking? At this point, your goal to lose 10 pounds would include a very substantial change in fluids. An increase in water consumption and elimination of all other liquids, such as juices or other non-nutritive drinks, will help to lose the last 10 pounds.

4. Waking up earlier means more time to burn calories

The longer you are awake, the more time your body is burning calories and the more time you have to eat and burn the required 5-6 meals. Eating every 3 hours for 5 meals requires starting at 6 am and eating the last meal at 6 pm, for example. For men, eat another meal at 9 pm.

The longer you are awake, the more time you have to exercise. Doing cardio first thing in the morning before your first meal helps burn fat instead of blood sugar. Be sure to exercise before eating. Then staying up later allows you to get in an evening weights workout or a second cardio session.

The last 10 pounds to lose can be as simple as spending more time awake.

If you’re really trying to lose that last 10 pounds, remember that it should always be considered easy. If you tell yourself it’s easy and your mind knows that you think it’s easy, it becomes easy. You are what you believe. May your attention expand. Your mind can’t tell the difference between what you think is real and what is real, so you have to know in your heart and mind that the last 10 pounds you can lose is easy. Clean up your diet, improve the amount of fluids you drink, spend more time awake, and make sure you stay active.

Trust me, the last 10 pounds is an easy thing to achieve.

Health Fitness

Signs of compulsive eating

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What is compulsive eating?

Binge eating involves uncontrolled eating or binge eating episodes that feel frantic or out of control. Eating happens even past the point of feeling uncomfortable and full. Unlike people with bulimia, compulsive overeaters don’t try to compensate for their overeating with vomiting, laxatives, fasting, or purging. However, there may be intervals of repetitive diets. While binge eating can eventually result in weight gain, body weight can range from normal to severely obese.

What causes binge eating?

Although the exact cause of compulsive overeating is not known, there are several likely options. Binge eating is behavior used to fill a void, cope with stress, suppress uncomfortable emotions, deal with problems, or create a state of numbness to difficult situations or feelings. Triggers can be anxiety, depression, stress, boredom or loneliness, diet, and low self-esteem. Binge eating is behavior driven by a desire to handle hidden problems rather than feelings of hunger. The activity of eating provides temporary relief, but is often followed by more distress in the form of guilt, shame, or disgust. A perpetual cycle of eating to relieve anxiety, then feeling bad about overeating, often leads to a vicious cycle of binge eating and depression.

Why is it so hard to stop?

When you binge overeat, you can try all diets or plans to stop. At first, you may experience some weight loss success. But, in the long run, diets or tightly controlled eating don’t address or fix the main reasons why you overeat. Also, with hunger and restriction eventually comes a binge response. This episode of overeating brings feelings of failure and even more depression. Compulsive overeating is a coping behavior that can be overcome by learning and incorporating other behaviors that are at least as effective as eating.

Symptoms of compulsive overeating

This is not a complete list of signs and symptoms. A person must also not have all of the symptoms on the list to have compulsive eating behaviors.

* Eating normally in front of others and compulsively overeating alone.

* Binge eating or uncontrolled eating

* Eating late at night or while others are sleeping.

* Hide a private stash of junk food.

* Unhappy with body weight.

* Always thinking about food.

* Eat to feel better.

* Not enjoying the food you eat.

* Feeling out of control and unable to stop eating during binge eating.

* Continue eating even after feeling full.

* Getting anxious when eating.

* A history of diet failure.

* Depression.

* You feel guilty and ashamed of binge eating.

* Worry while eating.

* Eat frankly, barely chewing food.

* Hide food.

* Eating secretly.

* Binge eating after a diet.

* Hunger creates a feeling of vulnerability and restlessness.

If you recognize yourself as a compulsive eater, take heart! There is hope and there is healing. Author Thomas Moore wrote, “When the soul is neglected, it not only disappears, but appears symptomatically in obsessions, addictions, violence, and loss of meaning. I believe that people with addictive eating behaviors are unique, creative, caring and sensitive Individuals who are seeking a deeper connection to their true inner spirit Recovery occurs when you develop a sense of your own spirit, self, and body…and when you develop a belief that your emotions are valid, important, and worth noting…

Legal Law

Reasons why you need life insurance

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September is National Life Insurance Month. A family really cannot do without life insurance. Being young is the best time to take out life insurance. The younger you are, the less you will pay.

You need life insurance before it has to be used, that is, before it has to be used on your behalf. If you are the main earner for your family, you must be insured. If your spouse works, you also need life insurance. Are you a partner of a company? Each partner must be insured to cover any loss in the untimely event that they have left their earthly presence. How much insurance do you need? Ideally, you need an amount equal to your current debt, monthly expenses multiplied by 24, the financial needs of your children (under 18 or 26 if they are in school) through high school and your spouse for the duration of your expected life in case of not being able to work. The first is an ideal objective target. Every family situation is unique. If the spouse also works the computation and needs change. When the family dynamic changes, new needs arise while others are no longer necessary to cover. Today, more than a few policies can be turned into an income generating vehicle later in life. That income later in your life vehicle turns out to be a valuable asset.

Listening to people explain how they and their families were catapulted into poverty after the tragic loss of a loved one made me realize that far too many people are not protected. Many people do not have enough coverage. Those who have company-provided or subsidized insurance lose that insurance when they leave that organization. Some lose employer life insurance as a result of a business merger or buyout. Some lose employer life insurance when they retire.

If the employees had invested in life insurance individually, the policy is active as long as the premiums are paid. Buying life insurance when you are young is the best premium you can get. Some life policies accumulate cash value. Some life policies allow you to take cash value loans. Some allow inclusions or “Riders” including double compensation, long-term care, and home health care additions. Some policies easily convert to income generating vehicles to supplement your retirement income. In some cases it may be the only income.

The sale of AH&D (accident, health, and disability) added to auto loans in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s helped more than a few families make ends meet. It was very gratifying to receive thanks for making sure they were covered. For those who did benefit from the extra coverage, it was available when they really needed it.

Today there are plans that can be adapted to the needs of most people and families. There are plenty of plans to fit even the tightest budget. The average cost of the funeral is between $8,000.00 and $12,000.00. Cremation is also expensive. Average Cremation with a memorial service is $3,250.00 and up. The average Direct Cremation is $500.00 to $2,000.00. Funeral costs are in addition to the medical costs associated with a sudden death. Many times the cost of replacing the financial contribution or trust of a lost one has a value that most do not equate in their calculations. A stay-at-home spouse has monetary value. A relative who is a caregiver has a monetary value. If the loss of that spouse or caretaker occurs, the cost to replace her monetary value can be quite high. The cost of replacing your carrier is priceless. The legal system can take years if a settlement is even a possibility. Add children and elderly relative to the equation and the necessary financial cost increases substantially.

A family really cannot do without life insurance. Being young really is the best time to buy life insurance. The younger you are, the less you will pay. Setting a premium at an early age is a smart choice.

Insurance Carla J.

Lifestyle Fashion

Words and Games

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Joe South wrote and released a protest song in 1968 called “The Games People Play”. The lyrics identify various forms of interpersonal and social problems that occur between people, including intolerance, hate, and irresponsibility. One of the verses points to hypocrisy:

Oh the games that people play now

Every night and every day now

I never meant what they say now

Never say what they mean

Very often my therapy clients struggle with similar issues. Their identity, confidence, and progress in life can be severely affected by just a few words spoken to them. The following are some of the steps we take to help resolve the trauma and “unstuck” it.

  1. Term – When were the words spoken? Often, wounds occur in childhood when we don’t have the maturity to process them. Children may not tell anyone or find support to deal with the shock. Sometimes words in adulthood are said impulsively or without thinking. It’s important to remember that you might be the only person in the world who even remembers what was said. In fact, you may never see the speaker again. They might even be dead. Let go!

  1. Source: Unhappy people are often not kind to others. Those who speak in anger or while using substances are not reliable judges. Some people project their own inadequacies onto others and accuse them of the same thing they are doing. If you want good information, look for good sources that are sound and wise.

  1. Intent: Bullies say things to bring you down to their level. Traumatized people can lash out without much provocation or processing. Even well-meaning people can say things that they meant to encourage, but have a harsh judgmental ring to them. Consider why the person said what he did to you. Don’t make excuses, but try to gain some understanding.

  1. Guess – Did you read the things in the words? Perhaps you did not understand the true meaning. It is important to analyze the message in the correct context and not embellish or search for hidden meanings. This is particularly difficult when using text messages. Ask for clarity when you are confused.

  1. Truth: Once you’ve identified the messages that have caused you harm, start debunking them. Many times, you will find that the words were said without thinking, spoken by someone who was not an expert, or received incorrectly. What is the truth? Make a list of the strengths, skills, and accomplishments you’ve had. Consider the positive words and compliments received from others over the years.

  1. Repeat – Years ago I heard a social worker talk about a theory called “Big Dog, Little Dog.” He explained that the dog you feed is the one that grows. So if you keep feeding the negative words and memories, they will grow, get bigger and even more damaging. On the other hand, if you start feeding positive words, thoughts, and achievements into your life, you will get much better results. This is good for the future too. Say what you want, not what you don’t want.

Not everyone is consciously playing with the words they say. Some actually speak before they think, while others have simply never learned to communicate clearly and encouragingly.

When you let another person’s words affect you negatively, they have power over your emotions. You can decide not to let them have that power.

And as I’ve said many, many times, it’s not what happens to you that’s as important as how you deal with it!

Let go of the past, stop worrying about the future and learn to live in a happy and peaceful present.

Oh, and also remember that the words you say are powerful. Distribute them with kindness and consideration.