So, your wife wants space and you don’t know what to do. Perhaps it seems to you that this is irreconcilable with the fact that you two are married. After all, if you’re married, you’re supposed to live together forever, right? It may have surprised you, but it really isn’t. It happens in so many marriages, to so many husbands and wives. This does not mean the end of your marriage. In fact, the fact that your wife has asked for space means that her marriage will be built on a stronger foundation.

The worst thing you can do about it right now is chalk up the fact that your wife wants space to something unique, like a fight you had recently. Or to irrelevant things like financial problems that bother her, etc. This is the time to act, not the time to close your eyes and pretend you don’t see anything. This is the time to address the problem, not ignore it.

So when your wife wants space, the best thing to do first is to listen to what she means by that, and more importantly, what has caused this desire for more alone time. There is one thing you need to keep in mind during this conversation. The purpose of this conversation is to fully understand what his wife is going through. Her purpose is not to discuss everything to the point and try to figure it all out and live happily even after. So no matter how she says she feels, never get defensive (or offensive) about anything. This conversation is for you to understand what your wife’s desire for space means.

Most of the time, “your wife wants space” means that “your wife is feeling suffocated and wants to spend some time alone.” She tells him that he understands her and that she is more than willing to give him what she needs, but that she doesn’t think they should part with her. Most of the time she won’t talk about (or even think about) a divorce. But if she does, tell her there’s no point in blindly divorcing. In her place, tell her that the two of you should seek a trial separation, and if she likes how her life is when she’s alone during this trial time, you can go ahead with the divorce.

But there is nothing to worry about: during a trial separation, she will come to understand that she really appreciated everything you gave her during the marriage. If she doesn’t have a chance to miss you, she won’t have a chance to appreciate you; because it is the lack of things that usually makes us appreciate them. When your wife wants space, this is a very important point to keep in mind.