In a world that is about to explode due to overpopulation, it is ironic that many thousands of people suffer from loneliness. Relationships matter a lot. We thrive on our connection to family, friends, and the community. Life is lived with others. Man is a social animal and to stay healthy we need the acceptance, love and support of others.

Loneliness is a subjective experience. It has no borders. Whether young or old, rich or poor, single or married, educated or uneducated, anyone can suffer from loneliness. There is a lack of community and therefore a sense of isolation even when surrounded by a crowd. He is trapped within the walls that separate and alienate a person from those around him. Jeffrey Young described three types of loneliness.

– Transitory: everyone experiences brief periods of loneliness or loneliness. Something so incredible and exciting has happened that the need to savor that moment only becomes important. Or in a fit of rage, one needs to calm down and regain self-control.

– Situational: situations such as grief, loss of job, a fight with a spouse or friends, or a trip that leads to separation from the family, can cause periods of loneliness. However, this is temporary.

– Chronic loneliness is a sign of depression. A person withdraws into himself, becomes taciturn and uncommunicative. He feels that no one wants or needs him, and that life is not worth living. Warren Wiersbe calls it “malnutrition of the soul.”

– Loneliness must be distinguished from loneliness. It is simply physical isolation with a purpose. Creative people seek solitude so that they can concentrate on their work without being disturbed. Writers like JD Salinger and poets like Emily Dickenson preferred to be loners.

Many also seek solitude for prayer and meditation.

Causes of loneliness:

Social:

1. There is no time for meaningful relationships. Frequent job transfers make it impossible to put down roots. Some people take a long time to make friends, and when they do, they are ready to move on.

2. Competitiveness. You are focused on yourself and you are too busy having success in life.

3. Fame and prestigious positions can be isolating. Someone said, “Success can be as cold and lonely as the North Pole.”

4. Fear of physical contact with strangers: People who live alone especially older people or women who live in areas where there are no immediate neighbors.

5. Impersonal and hostile societies often seen in large cities.

6. Disappearance of extended families. Wives are deprived of security and companionship.

7. Emotional isolation of spouses who feel trapped in lonely and isolated marriages.

8. Empty nest syndrome. Women feel that they have lost their important role as motherhood.

9. Homelessness.

10. Lack of communication skills.

11. Physical disabilities or the feeling of being too fat, too thin, or too ugly.

12. Financial limitations.

13. Illness and fear of imminent death.

Psychological:

• Lack of friends during childhood and adolescence can be a predisposing factor to loneliness.

• Rejection or pain in childhood. They do not feel loved and because of these harmful experiences, they are afraid of being hurt again.

• Lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. They are unable to love themselves and are full of self-pity.

• Burden of guilt. Isolation prevents them from repeating mistakes.

• Psychological problems such as depression, mental illness or phobia of physical contact.

• Some socially disruptive event in life such as a broken marriage. Life after a breakup can feel like death. “Falling in love is terribly simple, but falling in love is just horrible,” says Bess Myerson.

• The loss of a spouse or child can result in chronic injury and estrangement from family and friends.

Spiritual:

– Inability to love God or love oneself or neighbor.

– Anger can turn a person into a lonely person and a stranger to himself. “Bitterness is a poisonous pill that we swallow so that the other person dies.”

Effects of loneliness:

1. Several medical studies have shown a 3-fold increase in heart disease in those who isolate themselves. The American Framingham Heart Study (2005) has shown that lonely men have elevated levels of interleukin 6 (IL 6), a chemical linked to heart disease.

Other studies show a drop in HDL (good cholesterol) and an increase in bad LDH cholesterol, increased blood pressure and blood sugar. Loneliness depresses the immune system. The infections become serious. Viral infections like herpes (genital and oral) are difficult to cure.

The extremities become cold due to the narrowing of the peripheral blood vessels. (vasoconstriction)

Can you die of loneliness? Studies say it could lead to premature death. Lonely people are said to live shorter lives.

2. The tendency to become addicted to drugs, alcohol, tobacco or other substances is high.

3. Lonely people can be angry, cynical, or hostile. So people keep them at a distance.

4. Lonely people hurt not only physically, but also emotionally and spiritually.

How to cure loneliness:

• Analyze the reasons for your loneliness. Is it possible to eliminate or overcome them? Do you need help to change?

• Strive to make friends. Humans are social animals. We depend on each other for mental stability. No man is an island. “What do we live for if not to make life less difficult?” says George Eliot.

Dr. William Glasser was of the opinion that “At all times in our life, we must have at least one person who cares for us and who can take care of ourselves. To attend to our basic needs.”

• Develop self-esteem and regain your self-esteem.

• Expand your social circle. It is important to have a network of friends with whom you can talk, laugh, discuss issues, and learn how they approach problems. “If a man does not make new acquaintances as he goes through life, he will soon find himself alone,” says Samuel Johnson.

Cultivate group activities. Go to the movies, see a play, or catch a cricket game.

Use your personal skills to interact and communicate with others.

• Outdoor exercises like walking, jogging, running, biking, swimming will dissipate loneliness.

• Get yourself a pet. Animal-assisted therapy has been successful in many cases. Studies show that this prevents blood pressure from rising and lowers cholesterol and triglyceride levels.

• Cultivate interesting hobbies that distract you. Music, painting, writing, or gardening are good hobbies.

• Short-term therapy with a professional counselor may be required to reverse negative feelings, develop a positive attitude toward life, improve communication skills, and form friendships. It can take two to three months.

• Get involved in social activities. Communicate with another person who is lonely.

“Try to care about something in this vast world besides the gratification of small selfish desires. Look at other lives besides your own. See what their problems are and how they bear them,” says George Eliot.

• Spend time with family members.

• Trip.

• Religion: Get closer to God. It can bring about inner healing.

• Nursing home relationships have been shown to be beneficial for lonely seniors.

Loneliness is debilitating but curable. Blessed are those who have the gift of making friends.

One must learn to say with Robert Burns: “I want someone to laugh with me, someone to cry with me, someone who will please me and help my discrimination with his own comment, and sometimes, no doubt, admire my wit.”