Since I often write about healing after an affair, I am very often asked how to restore or rebuild a wife’s self-esteem after infidelity. The truth is, even if a wife has forgiven her husband or wants to move on, the blow to her self-esteem can prevent this from happening. It can be hard to believe that your husband really loves/wants you and won’t cheat on you again when you don’t believe it yourself deep down, as you might fear that there is something wrong with you or that your husband had an affair over something you don’t like . lover or another woman had that you did not. This article will give you some facts, advice, and information to help you educate yourself about affairs, why they happen, why it’s not her fault at all, and how she can rebuild her self-esteem after it.

Your husband’s affair was not your fault and the lover or other woman has nothing that you do not have: Although I am sure that at some point you will hear your husband say that the affair happened because he felt that there was something in the marriage that he was not receiving, the truth is that there are millions of men who have frustrations and who do not cheat. on his wives.

Husbands who cheat, for whatever reason, have had poor impulse control and decision making, and the blame for this rests entirely on their own shoulders.

That said, it may help to know that more than 75% of cheating husbands say they did it for emotional reasons, not physical ones. It is very common to believe that an affair has to do with sex, but most of the time it is not. It is about the husband feeling bad about himself and his own worth and trying to regain something that he feels has been lost outside of their marriage.

And you should know that only 12% of men who have cheated felt that the other woman was prettier than their wives. Almost 80% of men who cheat are “extremely sorry” that the affair occurred.

So, statistically speaking, your husband will most likely find you more attractive than this “other woman” and deeply regret his place in his life.

Restore your self-esteem after an affair by focusing on your own self-care and whatever makes you happy: It’s so easy to allow an affair to see a little of the happiness you have in your daily life. Life stops for a while after the adventure happens. I remember that after my husband’s affair it took an effort to even get out of bed. Some days, I realize somewhere around noon that I haven’t even showered or dressed.

While this behavior is completely understandable, it does nothing for your self-esteem or personal value. Even if you don’t feel like it, it is very important to take care of yourself and do what makes you happy. Now is the perfect time to do all those things you’ve been putting off or to stop neglecting yourself, your own needs, and those things that make you happy. Take up old hobbies. See friends. Get that facial or highlights you’ve been waiting for. Do whatever it takes to put a smile on your face. Not only will you feel better, but it will show yourself and your husband that you are a vital and worthwhile woman who loves herself enough to move.

As difficult as it may be, focus on intimacy and trust when you are ready: Always remember that you are the same person your husband once felt deeply and fell head over heels for. Yes, circumstances may have changed and there is no denying that he made an unfortunate decision, but once her husband had no reason to lie or pretend, he made her heart soar.

Understand that you are a very desirable woman no matter what has happened in the last few days. Whether you still love your husband or end up with someone else, one day you will have to restore trust and intimacy with a man again. The affair can make this difficult, but here’s the trick 22. To feel truly intimate with a man, you have to trust him. You can’t do this if deep down you have doubts about his true feelings and loyalty. The best way to banish these doubts is, when you’re ready, to dive in first with a toe, and eventually with an open heart.

Yes, this will make you feel vulnerable at first, but this is the truth. Your self-esteem will be restored when you experience a deep and lasting intimacy that cannot be faked or manufactured. It helped educate me about intimacy and sexuality. I learned several things I wasn’t doing in my marriage that ignited serious and very genuine sparks and fireworks when I did. I am no longer worried about my husband cheating on me again. He is very happy at home.

It may take a while before you’re ready for this, but be patient. You’ll know when you feel it, and when you feel it, I highly doubt you’re thinking about your self-esteem at the time.