Many of us have lost loved ones, unexpectedly as my brother did, or after an illness as my father did. Sooner or later, we will all experience the pain and trauma of the death of an important person in our lives.

Virtually all popular traditions and religions tell us that we, our souls, survive after death, and most assure us that those who have passed away can communicate with us through our dreams.

People of all ages, cultures, backgrounds, and beliefs have reported communicating with a deceased loved one while sound asleep. They are convinced that the experience was not “just a dream” and that the dream character was not a dream character at all, but their deceased loved one. These types of dreams are commonly known as visitation dreams.

Dream psychologists and researchers love to catalog and categorize data, and while many tend to categorize and subcategorize these kinds of dreams in various (and different) ways, I prefer to stick to a simple, general definition, for reasons I’ll explain. momentarily. I define a visitation dream as: a dream experience in which the dreamer feels that the deceased person was actually present in the dream. This feeling can occur during sleep and/or upon waking.

To give you an idea of ​​the different categories developed by different researchers, I will give you a brief sample.

Deirdre Barrett lists four types of these dreams:

• Describe the state of death.
• Deliver messages to the living.
• Seek to change the circumstances of his death.
• Give your loved ones a chance to say goodbye

Patricia Garfield, in an article that appeared in the Trauma and Dreams anthology, lists 11 types of visitation dreams:

• The survivor may or may not realize that the person is actually dead.
• The deceased suffers from the symptoms that caused his death.
• The dead man says goodbye to the dreamer.
• The deceased travels in a kind of vehicle.
• The survivor receives a phone call.
• The deceased appears young and healthy.
• The deceased criticizes or approves of the dreamer.
• The dead offers advice and/or comfort to the dreamer.
• The deceased returns for a romantic or sexual encounter.
• The dead man seems to encourage the dreamer to join them in death.
• The deceased is going about their daily routines or may simply be present.

TJ Wray and Ann Back Price, in their book Grief Dreams: How They Help Us After the Death of a Loved One (2005), opt for four types:

• Visitation Dreams
• dreams with messages
• reassuring dreams
• traumatic dreams

I could go on, but I’m sure you get the idea. There is no universal categorization, not even a generally accepted number of topics or types. Robert Moss offers thirteen different tour themes, and others as many as twenty.

No matter how many or few ways you can categorize visitor dreams, they all have one thing in common…the delivery of a message. The message can be in the form of guidance, knowledge or warning and they are as diverse and personal as the dreamer and the deceased.

Simply dreaming of a deceased person is not necessarily a spiritual communication. There is a difference between a grievance dream and a visitation dream, and herein lies the confusion. Many of us dream of our deceased loved ones shortly after their death. These dreams help us work through our hurt, guilt, pain, and loss. Because such dreams are so emotional, they are confused with visitor dreams. In grievance dreams, your deceased loved one may show up for dinner or join you for a round of golf, or do whatever any other dream character might do. They usually don’t have a specific message or speak to you directly. These types of dreams are often nightmarish, upsetting, or “not real,” as opposed to visitation dreams that are often described as “so real and vivid.”

Some clues to help you determine if your dream is a visiting dream are:

1. The dream feels more real than an ordinary dream: you experience more clarity, focus, and mental stability. Colors appear more vivid, your senses are intensified.

2. There is a sense that the person is really them, not just a memory or stand-in for someone or something else. “That was Aunt Penny, I know it was her.”

3. The plot of the dream is very thin (not much of a plot or plot). Usually the narration of the dream consists of the interaction between you and the deceased person.

4. Strong emotions are commonly reported: love, forgiveness, anger, fear. However, many dreamers have reported a surprising lack of emotion in these types of dreams, which is what makes them so memorable and “different.”

5. There is “physical” contact between the spirit and the dreamer, usually a hug or a close up.

6. The deceased person often looks younger and healthier than when they died.

7. The deceased person conveys a specific message, often verbally, in person, by phone, fax, computer, letter, or text message. In addition, you can also just “know” what the message is.

According to the Proceedings of the Society for Psychical Research of 1927, in 1925, a North Carolina man awoke from a dream in which his late father, who seemed very much alive, told him to “find my will in the pocket of my coat”. Checking the pocket, the man found a piece of paper that directed him to a specific chapter in the family Bible. Between two pages of that chapter, the will was hidden.

For many dreamers who have received visits from loved ones, they feel grateful, relieved and comforted. The messages received and the very confirmation that there is life after death has been, for some people, a life-changing experience. For others, it has altered their beliefs and their perception of reality. Are visitor dreams really our deceased loved ones communicating with us? To date, there is no scientific method capable of answering the question. It is up to you to decide if the dream you had of your dear departed was “just a dream” or a message from beyond.