Tours Travel

Karnataka: temples, adventures and more

Karnataka is a state blessed with natural forest reserves, world heritage sites, waterfalls and pristine beaches. Karnataka State has five regions namely Cauvery Basin in South Karnataka, Central Karnataka, Karavali – Coastal Karnataka Region, North Karnataka and North West Karnataka. The state capital is Bangalore.

Karnataka Tourism: The Must-See Places in the State

Listed below are some of the prominent hubs of Karnataka tourism. These places are recommended and will be available in most Karnataka tour packages.

Hampi: The city of Hampi is located in the Bellary district of Karnataka. It is known as the capital of the Vijaynagar Empire. The most prominent sight in the city to visit is the 29-foot Narasimha. The Narasimha was cast from a single stone and is believed to have been installed by Krishnadevaraya.

Three star hotel in Hampi – If you visit Hampi with your family, you can stay in a luxury hotel. The Hotel Krishna Palace in Hospet is a three star luxury hotel. The hotel is centrally air-conditioned and has facilities such as: complimentary breakfast and morning newspaper, LCD televisions in each room with cable connectivity, 24-hour room service and direct dialing, in addition to other facilities.

Gokarna: Gokarna has become one of the most popular towns on the Konkan Coast.

Three star hotel in Gokarna – The Om Beach Resort is a three-star hotel located on Om Beach Road. The hotel is located nine kilometers from National Highway 17. It offers 12 well designed and furnished rooms with cable television, safe and attached bathroom. The hotel also has its own bar on site.

Bijpur: Bijapur is of great historical importance as most of the monuments were built here during the rule of Adil Shah. Filled with historical attractions like Gol Gumbaz and Asar Mahal, Bijapur is a major tourist destination in Karnataka.

Three star hotel in Bijapur – Hotel Shashinag Residency in Bijapur is a three-star hotel located four kilometers from Gol Gumbaz. The hotel has 20 luxury rooms, a health club, a shopping center, a swimming pool and many other top-of-the-line facilities.

bellary: Bellary is a renowned historical town in Karnataka. It is the center of the historic ash mounds at places like Kupghal and Budhihal.

Three Star Hotel in Bellary – Hotel Pola Paradise is a three-star bed and breakfast in Bellary. It is located on New Trunk Road. It offers suites and luxury rooms with air conditioning and without air conditioning. Amenities include: free parking, room service, swimming pool, and an in-house restaurant.

Karnataka also has a number of exciting adventure activities along the coast. These include snorkeling and diving near the Pigeon Islands near Murudeshwar.

Arts Entertainments

how to play sky high

Eventually, while playing baseball games during the day, you’ll come across what’s known as “High Sky,” which essentially means the sky is totally blue and cloudless.

At first, this may seem like ideal playing conditions, but inadvertently the clouds serve as a depth perception aid when tracking an elevated ball and without them it increases the difficulty of estimating distance.

A “Sky High” also presents a glare problem, which you may not be aware of until the ball is hit out of the air and you suddenly have difficulty seeing the ball.

It would also mean that the cue ball would be more clearly defined against a blue background, but we’re not talking dark blue, we’re talking very light blue with a hint of glow thrown in for good measure.

Well, we’ve identified what a “high sky” is and the problems it presents to an outfielder, rather than an infielder, because the outfielder is more likely to be too far away from other outfielders to help. How do we play in a high sky environment?

Tea the first of all What you should do, if you suspect there’s a sky that could create a problem, is get hit by flying balls during pre-game warm-ups. I’ve seen coaches who just practice on the field before a game, assuming outfielders know how to catch and that one turf field isn’t too different from another, but this can be a huge mistake.

Your assumptions of grass is grass may be correct, but the possible composition of the sky could create a lot more problems than a rock in the field. A bad jump single is nothing compared to a bad game, because you couldn’t see the ball, in the park home run.

While fucking flies you see no problem seeing the ball, fine, go about your business, but if there is a problem, you know. go ahead of time how to adjust your tactics when playing fly balls, rather than when the game is possibly on the line.

In order to play a lofty ball “sky high,” there are two important things to accomplish: gain depth perception and block glare. One way, of course, is to wear sunglasses, but that’s not always a safe method either, because most gardeners don’t actually wear their sunglasses on their face, they rest them on their hat, with the intention of reach out, grab them, and put them on as they track the ball.

The problem arises when the fielder panics because he can’t find the ball and completely forgets that he’s even wearing sunglasses or is so focused on looking for the ball that he doesn’t take the time to retrieve them.

The best method for playing a lofted ball is to turn to one side, with the glove hand facing infield. Unless the ball is hit to your opposite side, which will require you to use your throwing hand as a shield, you can visually track and run a ball down to catch it. Why, how does this work?

By turning to the side, you are looking at the ball from an angle, from which it is much easier to determine the height, distance and arc of the ball. To further increase your visibility, use your glove or hand to prevent glare from affecting your eyes and allow you to focus without squinting. This method is also the exact method to use when fighting a sun field.

Business

Power Lines, Landlords, Utilities, and the Power of Eminent Domain

In the old days, railroad agents had a responsibility to buy land from Native Americans for rights of way on which they could build their tracks. One story tells of a rather cunning boss who understood the situation well. This Chief was approached by a railway agent who offered to buy a particularly poor piece of land:

Buy my land? . . . Sure, sell me for $50,000, said the Chief.

$50,000! Why is that land not good for sowing or for grazing. It just doesn’t do any good! the agent exclaimed.

The Chief grunted, It’s good for the railway. [i]

While this anecdote may seem silly, Kimble County landowners can draw two important lessons: The first of these lessons is that, like the railroad, the LCRA power transmission lines are likely going through Kimble County, whether we like it or not. While we are only talking about easements and we need not fear the complete divestment of our property rights that Native Americans went through, a taking is a taking. Utilities like the LCRA have the immense power of eminent domain and eminent domain behind them.

Eminent Domain is a common law principle that is given statutory force at the level of the state legislature. Empowers government and quasi-government entities to take land from any US citizen for public use. The only real restrictions placed on this power are found in the Takings Clause of the 5th Amendment, which states that private property may not be taken for public use, without just compensation.[ii]

This article is not some kind of call to arms to support legislative reform. If that is a cause you intend to support, I suggest you take a look at the materials provided by the various land rights groups or other related organizations across the country.

Rather, what this article hopes to accomplish is to provide useful tips and basic information to Kimble County landowners so they can better prepare for what lies ahead and hopefully get the best possible outcome.

This brings me to the second lesson we can learn from the wise Chief.

Owners must be aware and prepared to defend the value of their land. As a property owner, or the “big boss” of your land, can you just accept what the LCRA/railroad agent thinks the easement on your land is worth? Sure and indeed your life will be easier that way. However, your offer may not be what you think you’re entitled to and may be much less than you could receive with a little extra preparation.

Understand that eminent domain/consuming proceedings are adversarial in nature. This means that even if you may or may not ultimately be able to prevent the installation of the transmission line on your property, you certainly have a say in determining what your fair 5th Amendment compensation will be. Preparation is key, you will be dealing with a team of LCRA-trained professionals to meet a budget and timeline. Your rights and compensation are NOT their priority.

It is clear that there is a lot of confusion among the public as to how eminent domain/consuming actions actually work and how they are going to occur. Familiarizing yourself with the progression will allow you to make better decisions when the time comes. The following five steps are a drastically abbreviated timeline of how a normal eminent domain/consuming matter is likely to proceed.

1: If it hasn’t already happened, the LCRA will contact you and ask for your permission to inspect, measure, and appraise your property.

2: An LCRA representative presents you with an appraisal of your property and makes you an offer.

3: This offer is time sensitive and must be accepted within a specific time frame. If you don’t respond or reject the offer outright, the LCRA will likely file a condemnation lawsuit against you.

4: Once this happens, the Court selects three special commissioners to conduct a hearing on the matter. The special commissioners will be disinterested property owners residing in Kimble County. At this hearing, you can present evidence to the panel in support of your valuation, question the LCRA appraisers, and generally explain to them why the LCRA valuation is too low. Once the presentation of evidence is concluded, the Commissioners make a determination of value and make that figure their “special award”.

5: This “special prize” is not the end of the game unless you are satisfied with it. If you are not satisfied with the commissioners’ award, you have a short period of time in which you can object and appeal. In this new trial, both sides start over and the case proceeds as if the commissioners’ hearing never happened. You will be able to choose whether a judge or a jury decides your case.

As you can see, it’s really all about money. The steps I have outlined are your chances to have a say in how much you will receive. Essentially, you have three main options: reach a negotiated settlement with the LCRA, accept the award from the special commissioners, or have a judge or jury decide how much you should receive.

Not make mistakes; Property valuation can be very complicated in the context of eminent domain. Perhaps you have sold a property in the past; perhaps you even contested the tax assessment of your own home. The appraisals and appraisals in these situations are very simple calculations compared to those made in the matter of expropriation. Property valuation evidence in condemnation proceedings must comply with and reflect a body of condemnation laws crafted over decades in the Texas appellate courts. It would be wise to seek professional help early in the game.

Fundamentally, when valuing easements in the context of the transmission line, we are actually talking about devaluation. How much less is my property worth now that there are power lines running through it, and that amount of depreciation is also how much money I could be compensated with and be happy? To set the tone, throw out some real numbers, and give you a general idea of ​​what kind of devaluation I’m talking about, consider the following:

In 1997, the LCRA commissioned a study to find out how much its power transmission lines affected the property values ​​they cross.[iii] The geographic area studied was around Georgetown, Texas. This study was completed by an appraiser that the LCRA had contracted to do all of the appraisal work on an easement acquisition project very similar to the one proposed for Kimble County. The only difference is that this study was done for a much smaller 138 Kv transmission line than the 345 Kv double circuit lattice tower we face today.

In this study, conducted by an appraiser paid by the LCRA, an undeniable depreciation was found. It concluded that a transmission line easement has less than a 10% price impact and, in most cases, less than a 5% price impact.[v] It is important to note that this is a possible 10% overall impact on the price of the entire property.[vi] Simply put, if you owned a specific piece of land around Georgetown around the millennium, the LCRA converted your $500,000.00 property to a $450,000.00 property. – Property of $475,000.00.

For the land directly below and near the line, the study concluded:

“It is concluded that the area located within an electric transmission line easement has a 90% decrease in value due to the presence of the easement. [and] [i]It is concluded that a 200 foot wide area adjoining the proposed easement has some diminished value. The extent of the diminished value may depend on several factors that would include the location of the easement in relation to the entire section and the physical characteristics of the remainder.[vii]

This is, of course, data from ten years ago from a single source that only considers strict real estate values. Also, this study was done for much smaller transmission lines; and should be considered only as a point of reference.

Much has changed since 1997, but my opinion is that it has changed in favor of the landowner rather than the LCRA. To arrive at a fairer devaluation figure, one

Home Kitchen

New kitchen design ideas you want

You will find a considerable amount of space-saving furniture that is particularly stooped recalling these modern apartments and in kitchens too, things are the same. Ideas for parallel modern kitchen designs depend on this idea and designers are coming up with ingenious space saving ideas that allow you to fit as many things in as insignificant a space as would be wise.

Apart from this, another variable that you can check while browsing kitchen interior design ideas sites, is clever use of color for kitchens. Even though in Western society there is an affinity for using white as the standard color for kitchen cabinets, remembering the Indian method of preparing food and all the spices and oils we use when cooking that may not be the best idea. The use of a dark color, ideally the wood-colored cabinets, is a superior idea in the Indian setting.

  • A safe method of selecting colors for kitchen interior design ideas is to go for a neutral color palette. This will really help you match the color of the cabinet with whatever is left of the fixtures in your kitchen. You can also refer to the colors of the stones on the floor or the tiles on the wall to design the cabinet and other furniture (assuming there is any) in your kitchen.
  • If you see that the look you are trying to provide to your kitchen requires the installation of a marble or ceramic backsplash, you can decide. This will certainly give your kitchen the really necessary union so that the cabinets are no longer the “weird” ones. For that, you can take the help of home interior design images that you will find online.

Now, let’s turn our consideration regarding your kitchen doors. In general, people look for simple doors, especially for small kitchens. Be that as it may, you can again have any kind of effect by being creative in your interior design ideas. Include a dash of molding and carving. That will include something “extra” to the door in this way inspiring the overall look of your kitchen. What’s more obviously the handle knob – it should be modern and contemporary and will fit well in your kitchen. Choose a handle that goes up and down the length of the door and gives it a dazzling shine that will be especially in keeping with what’s left of your kitchen.

Auto

Role of music in human life

music is passion

music is energy

music is joy

Music is creativity.

music is eternal

music is love

music is soul

Music is life

Music is one of the greatest creations of humanity throughout history. It is creativity in pure, undiluted form and format. Music plays a vital role in our daily lives. It is a way of expressing our feelings and emotions. Music is a way of escaping from life, giving us relief from pain and helping us reduce the stress of daily routine. It helps us calm down, and even excites us in the moment of joy. In addition, it enriches the mind and gives us self-confidence.

Music surrounds our lives at different times of life, whether we listen to it on the radio, on television, on our car stereo or at home. Different types of music are appropriate for different occasions. We find it in the mellifluous melodies of a classical concert or in the devotional chords of a bhajan, the wedding ring or the reaper in the fields breaking into song to express the joys of life. Even trilling in the bathroom gives us a happy start to the day. Music has a very powerful therapeutic effect on the human psyche. It has always been part of our association with specific emotions, and those emotions themselves have given rise to great music.

The origins of Indian music can be traced back to the chanting of the Sama Veda nearly 4,000 years ago. The primacy of the voice and the association of musical sound with prayer were thus established early in the history of Indian music. Nowadays, music is available to us in different forms and the choice of music varies from person to person, just as the reading options vary from one person to another. There is folk music, classical music, devotional music, instrumental, jazz, rock music, pop music, Hindi movie songs and many more.

In the modern world, music has earned an honorable designation of ‘CURE WITHOUT MEDICINE’. Doctors believe that music therapy has helped them treat many people with problems such as dementia, dyslexia, depression and trauma.” Many children with learning disabilities and poor coordination have been able to learn and respond to pieces of music. Many people with genetic disabilities have found a new light in the form of music.

Dance critic Ashish Khokar cites an experiment as proof: “Music is produced from sound, and sound affects our sensory perception in many ways. Even fish in an aquarium once listened to different types of music and it was found that their movements matched the rhythm of the music. Mind you, fish don’t hear, they just feel the vibrations of sound through the water. So you can imagine the profound effect that sound and music can have on the human mind.”

Anand Avinash, founder of the Neurolinguistic Awareness workshop which has researched music therapy, says, “Mystics and saints from ancient to modern times have shown how music can ignite the higher centers of the mind and improve quality of life.” Mantras, or chants used in the West, repeated monotonously, help the mind achieve a sense of balance. A combination of the sounds of the Sanskrit mantras produces certain positive vibrations and raises the mind to a higher level of consciousness.

We all know that meditation cleanses the system of its negative energies and vibrations. And music is a powerful aid to meditation. In many meditation workshops, music is used to make people more aware of their moods and feelings. People are made to lie down and empty their minds and then listen to the music which is systematically changed so that they can adapt to different emotions and states of consciousness.

Many people also believe that any music you respond positively to will work for you, regardless of its content. Therefore, even pop music could work wonders for you.

Music affects us all in one way or another. It is also the most common interest of many people. People who love music, listen to it while traveling, reading, meditating, walking, some even have soft music while working on their busy routine. It helps them to relax and escape from the stress of our daily lives. It can transport us to another time or place and it’s a great feeling to see or do or experience something different. People have a special music corner for them and some people attach importance to silent listening and some people love to read with light music and even some people love to listen to music before sleeping. Many people love listening to music in the bathroom because they feel that it is one of the few rooms in the home where privacy is routinely respected. Some people also love to sing in the bathroom and are called ‘bathroom singers’. Music has now become a part of our lives as it serves different purposes for each of us.

  • It serves as an entertainment tool. For example, in an occasion or event, music plays a vital role that makes the event lively for people. Likewise, it creates a cordial relationship between people.
  • In addition, it serves as a tool for corrective action. The music tells people about the habit that is uncultivated so that such behavior can be for the better. In addition, it is an agent that is used to educate people. Music can easily convey a message to friends and enemies.
  • It serves as a tool to resolve disputes between two or more people. It often helps to end disagreements after listening to meaningful related songs. Music is played for the group to show harmony with each other.
  • Music also serves as a source of income for human life. It is a profession of private tutoring of people like lyricists, playback singers, music directors, musicians, musical instrumentalists, dj etc.
  • Lastly, music serves as a message or symbol that indicates what is happening in a particular place or event. For example, if a bad occurrence occurs at a particular location, the type of music played will show the audience or hear what happened at that event. The type of music that is played will justify to the listeners what is really going on there.
Digital Marketing

The power of testimony

One of the key elements of Social Media Marketing (SMM) is trust. A good way to gain trust is through testimonials. Testimonials are where someone; A colleague, someone you’ve worked with on a joint venture, a vendor, or a customer is ready to write a short article about why they think you’re a good person to do business with.

Two social networks; LinkedIn and ecademy have a very well structured and good way of exchanging testimonials online. I would advise anyone who uses SMM to join both as they both have free and paid options. LinkedIn allows you to ask your connections to give you a testimonial. I found this to be both good and bad. It was an easy way to ask, but I got some hostile responses and some very pleasant surprises. On ecademy, you actually visit a person’s profile and if you decide to give them a testimonial, you can do it there and then pretty easily. Another good source would be clients or people you’ve recruited for your network marketing team. Ask them if they would be prepared to write a short testimonial if they enjoyed your work.

Many people aren’t sure what to say, so you could have one or two ready and just ask them if they could write something similar. Written on company letterhead is great if you can get it.

Here’s what you can do to make the most effective use of testimonials:

  • On your blog, create a page called Testimonials. ‘cut and paste’ any online testimonial into a Notepad file. Then enter each testimonial by editing the page instead of creating posts. The posts will appear on your home page and you want them to appear only on the testimonials page.
  • Use the following format for each testimonial; [Name of person], [Company], [Position in Company] [The text of the testimonial i.e what they said about you] [The social network it is on], [The date it was written]
  • This means that people can go and review the testimonials if they want to.
  • For written testimonials use the same format, but for the source put [Letter of endorsement] instead of [The social network it was on]
  • Create an offline archive of these testimonials. You can use your creativity here. This can be used if you are meeting clients face to face.
  • One last form of testimonial that is very powerful (I suggest 1 or 2 of these) is a video testimonial of no more than 3 minutes. Upload the video to YouTube and then embed the video code on the testimonials page.

Testimonials provide social proof that you are someone who can be trusted. So what is the best way to get a testimonial online? Start by giving them to people whose work you really like. You will soon find that people will reciprocate if you provide genuine value-added content to that network.

Health Fitness

Are you eating your way to health or an early grave?

Which?

In the United States, nearly 16 million people have diabetes. More than 50 million adults have arthritis diagnosed by a doctor. More than 600,000 people die each year from heart disease. Dementia and Alzheimer’s are on the rise, and digestive disorders are common.

According to the National Institutes of Health: “More than 35% of American adults are obese and more than 34% are overweight.”

Do I have your attention now?

Good.

Diabetes, arthritis, heart disease, dementia, and digestive disorders are out of control in the US People are suffering in silence and in fear. They don’t know where to turn or what to do.

The problem

Food.

People are eating their way to an early grave with foods laced with additives, preservatives, chemicals, sweeteners, and fats.

The solution

Food.

As a positive thinker, Norman Vincent Peale wisely put it, “Every problem has within it the seeds of its own solution.” So if food is the problem, it’s also the solution.

The good news is that once you know how certain foods respond within your body (which ones are beneficial and which ones cause conflict); you can directly eat your way back to health. No matter what your current state of health or energy level is, it’s rarely too late to change it.

That ‘s what I did. In my 20s, 30s and 40s I struggled with my health. It declined so alarmingly over that 20-year period that I knew I was eating my way to an early grave. I had to change my health. I did it by eating my way to health.

Now, at 50 years old, I am in the best health of my life!

If I can do it: You can do it.

eat your way to life

There are three key nutrients and vitamins essential for optimal health: protein, B vitamins, and vegetables. This is why:

1. Protein.

Studies show that eating a high-protein diet has some specific health benefits. Not only does it help you maintain and lose weight, it also works to stabilize your blood sugar levels, improve cognition, reduce “brain fog”; increase your energy levels and support your muscles and bones. Organs, tissues, muscles, and hormones are made of protein.

There are so many proteins to choose from!

Here are some great protein sources: oatmeal, grains, quinoa, nuts, dairy, tofu, eggs, fish, beans, and meat. You can also get your protein by drinking a protein powder shake.

The key to protein is to eat it every 2-3 hours.

2. B vitamins.

Everyone needs B vitamins. However, most people fall short on these essential nutrients. Not only does this slow down your metabolism, making weight loss difficult, but it also causes energy crashes. B vitamins help your body make energy from the food you eat. They also form red blood cells.

There are eight B vitamins:

has. B1 (thiamin)

b. B2 (riboflavin)

against B3 (niacin)

d. B5 (pantothenic acid)

me. B6 (pyridoxine)

F. B7 (biotin)

gram. B9 (folate)

H. B12 (cobalamin)

These foods are high in B vitamins: brown rice, 100% whole-grain bread and pasta, non-GMO organic soybeans and other soy products, bananas, potatoes, and shiitake mushrooms.

3. Greens.

The importance of eating vegetables cannot be overlooked. Imagine foods so powerful they can help you lose weight, reduce your risk of cancer, make you look younger, strengthen your bones, and help you live longer. Pretty nifty, huh!

Superwoman status is achieved with vegetables because most vegetables contain a mix of vitamins A, C, K, B9, iron, and potassium. Plus, most have protein and B vitamins.

Here are some delicious ways to get your greens:

has. Eat a salad a day.

b. Add broccoli, zucchini, and steamed cabbage to any meal.

against Cena artichokes.

d. Eat raw celery and green peppers as snacks.

me. Blend kale and spinach into a green powder smoothie.

When you start eating for health, making the decision about what foods to eat is overwhelming. That’s why it’s helpful to work with a nutritionist or health consultant to design an eating plan specifically tailored for you.

With so many people in the US suffering from diabetes, dealing with digestive disorders, battling weight issues, and moving on to serious and early heart disease, don’t you owe it to yourself to prevent this from happening? I made. And I know you can too by eating your way to health. Start eating your way to health: The quality of your life depends on it.

Legal Law

The ego is good: only the unearned ego is bad

It’s amazing how many people actually believe that the ego is a bad thing. It seems that today in our schools, colleges and universities teachers and professors claim that the ego is not a good thing. That is absolutely nonsense, since the ego allows someone to confront something that is wrong. It allows someone to take on the crowd even when something bad is going on and they know it isn’t.

One of my biggest fears with socialism is that it leads to mob rule, and if you’ve ever studied history or seen what can happen when the mob gets out of control or starts rioting, you’ll see that it has a mind of its own, and things often go from bad to worse. A good book to read on this subject is; “The theory and practice of hell”, when groups get too big, they get stupid and do silly things.

If it’s a large group like a society, they can pick the wrong person, they can demand more and more free stuff until civilization can no longer afford what has been promised or demanded. Large groups like this know they can get away with it when they come together to talk, protest, demonstrate and riot. Go from civil disobedience to total chaos and from 0 to 60 in 5 seconds.

There is nothing wrong with the ego, there is always something wrong with an unearned ego. Someone who thinks he is better than everyone else, but has never done anything in his life to prove that he is. The unearned ego is dangerous, but the ego itself is not. Everyone has an ego and there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s completely normal.

No one should feel guilty about having an ego, strong self-confidence, or a high level of self-esteem. If they do, they should look in the mirror and know that all is well. Please consider this.

Lifestyle Fashion

Co-parenting with a narcissist: time to form a couple


“The most important thing to remember when co-parenting is that you should always strive to protect your children from conflict.”

Anyone who has been through this knows that co-parenting takes effort. There is no easy way to properly plan, coordinate and execute all aspects of a child’s life, especially when it must be done in two separate homes, with a self-centered and uncooperative team member.

Co-parenting with a narcissist is impossible.

The notion of co-parenting with such a person does not exist.

Get that thought out of your brain.

Completely remove the term co-parenting from your dialect. You need a better plan and focus.

Forget trying to follow normal co-parenting guidelines. It will be ineffective with your narcissistic ex and will make you lose your sanity. You don’t want to lose your health; your children need you. You have the job of providing a non-narcissistic family dynamic so that you have a 50% chance of preventing your child from becoming an autonomous human being like your ex.

There are so many problems when trying to co-parent with a narcissist. You can’t be effective when you’re working with someone who refuses to cooperate. Here are some problems and solutions to the long, tedious and painful task ahead of you if you try to parent a narcissist:

PROBLEM 1: Exceeding limits

Boundary crossing is one of the biggest problems when co-parenting with a narcissist. Any attempt to communicate with the narcissist will make him believe that he has the right to push your boundaries. It can range from name-calling, profanity, or other similar exchanges during pickups, to nasty yelling at doctors during visits, to constant emails, texts, and calls filled with nasty threats. The problem will persist unless you fix it. This is where you grow a big pair and put your foot down. You must establish a set of limits from day one and you must stick to them. An established set of boundaries means a structure that will provide a safe, predictable, safe buffer for your children from your ex’s cunning psychological crap. Make no mistake: the emotional roller coaster ride at the mercy of a narcissistic parent can have a detrimental effect on a child’s development.

How do you set limits?

You can take a variety of approaches, but whatever you do, you have to stick with it. Just make sure you’re always the adult. Start by calling them out about their behavior every time it happens. From giving you a complaint because you’re a few minutes late, to acting like a jerk during a parent-teacher conference, to refusing to give your kids prescription medication, be sure to let them know that it’s not okay to act like a class kid just because they like it.

Just remember to never do this in person, and most importantly, never feed your narcissist ex’s ego by retaliating in front of children. Remember that the narcissist will use every communication attempt on his part to push his buttons, and he must not fall for it. Your children are watching. Be the one with the balls.

If possible, limit all communications to emails. Narcissists do not like others to set limits on them. You must stand firm in your decision. Remember: you are your child’s advocate and protector.

PROBLEM 2: Total lack of communication

Communication with a narcissistic person is non-existent. Trying to reach out to a narcissist to co-parent is like trying to land on the moon with a hot air balloon: it just won’t work, no matter how much effort you put into it. Don’t waste your time on that, you need all your energy for your children. The narcissist thrives on trying to keep you engaged, usually for negative reasons and looking for negative results. Do not fall in the trap. They feed on your weakness when you continue to respond to their verbal or written nonsense. Don’t do it, do the meditation video instead. You must free yourself from the vicious circle of communication that entangles you. Learn not to give a fuck. Not worth it.

How do you solve communication problems with a narcissist?

On your part, you can’t. Leave that already. In a world of co-parenting, you can’t expect your narcissist ex to communicate. Having false expectations sucks, but it’s better to know where you stand: don’t think for a second that a narcissist will communicate something about someone other than himself. His feelings of grandiosity are too established and enlarged to consider him important enough to receive information. Which leaves you with the task of having to communicate with your narcissist ex about your children, and anyone who has had to call their narcissist ex with a child-related question knows that never ends well. This is where the wine glass comes in handy. No, I’m not suggesting you hammer yourself and call your ex. Please never do that, especially with a narcissist. It’s like reversing the fuel in the wrong direction.

The rule is simple: Unless there’s an emergency you both need to address, which requires a phone call, limit your communication to emails and, if necessary, text messages when contacting your ex. If the situation is too conflictive for you to handle, you can request that all communication with your ex be through a program designed to address communication between high-conflict co-parenting relationships, such as Our Family Wizard and Talking Parents. There are others out there, and many of them have apps. The idea is to avoid giving them ammunition to create high-conflict situations that annoy you and end up responding like a baby, acting like your ex. No, hell no. Keep in mind that their email responses will most likely be filled with negative words that project their anger, discontent, resentment, and of course narcissistic tendencies onto you. Let it go. Let it all go.

NUMBER 3: Press the button

Regardless of the length of your relationship, narcissists have the uncanny ability to irritate you and get under your skin like no other motherfuckers on this planet, especially after a divorce. From personal attacks via email, text messages, and during deliveries and pick-ups, the narcissist will go to great lengths to encourage you and get you to respond, retaliate, respond. Do not do it. Remember: let all that shit go. It makes them feel important. Powerful. And it is extremely pathetic that you fall for the trap. Seriously, WTF? You are your child’s advocate and protector. So when he starts with his narcissistic need to engage you in discord, whether it’s because he’s giving you a complaint because you were five minutes late or because you had to send someone else to pick up the child, your ex narcissist finds a way to say or do. something that pushes your buttons to the limit.

How do you stop pressing the buttons?

Although it sounds impossible, you must develop a calm, cool and collected communication style with your ex. Stick to short, monotonous, strictly child-related, boring, business answers. Treat the relationship as if you had a permanent job and had to communicate with your idiot boss. Read your ex’s emails carefully and limit your response to matters relevant to co-parenting.

If you’re too upset that his comments are too much, you can punch a pillow, call your best friend, or rant at your mom about what a jerk he is, but don’t fall for the bait. No matter what they say, don’t respond in an angry way. You must keep calm and be corporate. Remember, your children’s happiness comes first. You are his advocate and protector. Don’t fall for that garbage.

NUMBER 4: Children are far from dumb, they are into them

As their defender and protector, you will do everything in your power to protect your children from conflict. This is an uphill battle carrying sacks of rocks, while walking on broken glass, wearing a blindfold, while getting hit with your own belt. You cannot control the way a narcissist behaves and acts around children. Their only hope is that one day they will tire of their boring, monotonous corporate email responses and lack of desire to engage, and find another target for their narcissism. You must make sure that it is not one of children.

How do I keep my kids from realizing that my ex is a selfish jerk?

The answer is: you can’t. It’s impossible to protect your children from the unknown, and your ex’s erratic narcissistic behavior is unpredictable enough to fall into the unknown category. There is nothing you can do about your tirades and yelling in public and your children witnessing this. Depending on their age, they will form their own age-appropriate images of their other parent. Just make sure you’re always there for them, corny as that sounds. Watching your ex behave like an ape in front of the kids can be a little gratifying, but it’s heartbreaking at the same time. Your children love this person.

NUMBER 5: Turn the kids against you, you son of a bitch!

It is almost a given that a former narcissist will poison children against the other parent. After all, they should be the ones that always look good. They will talk badly about you to the children, and they will surely tell them lies about how the marriage ended. They will try to turn your children against you in any way they can. And if they have one of those clan-type families, then they have reinforcements.

What can I do to prevent this?

Not a thing. You do not have to do anything. You are the defender and protector of your children. Children tend to gravitate towards the parent who allows them to grow independently. A narcissistic parent is the direct contradiction of that. A narcissistic parent will try to force a child into a specific type of development: the one he experiences as he grows up. He will be the only acceptable one.

Your job will be:

To nurture your child’s uniqueness and independence, and allow them to grow into their own person. Your narcissistic ex will have a hard time when your children want their own independence. Just be there for them.

To ensure that you are the calm parent who considers the impact of your actions on your child.

Teach and model social/emotional intelligence. Your child will grow up soon, if not older, and will be able to make abstract observations. Be honest. Be age appropriate. I’m a believer in telling it like it is. Period.

Being the father who does not criticize, poison or speak ill of his ex in front of his children.

Stop trying to co-parent with your narcissistic ex. doesn’t work Be smart. be better Be Wise. Be the one to let your guard down for the well-being of your children.

It’s YOUR time to shine, and you can do it with both parents who love you.

Pets

How my cat taught me unconditional love

Imagine: It’s the first snow storm of a winter in Northern Ontario. A boy is walking home from school when he notices a small kitten struggling through the snow towards him. He is obviously lost.

This scene took place in 1996. The boy was my nephew.

She couldn’t ignore the trembling kitten, so she took it home, even though her father is highly allergic to cats. He made himself a makeshift home in the downstairs powder room as far away from my brother-in-law as possible. Inquiries were made in the neighborhood to see if anyone knew where the kitten came from, but no one claimed her.

The next day, my sister called me on the phone and asked if I wanted a kitten or if I knew someone who would take one for her. Her husband had difficulty breathing, so she was getting desperate. Although she wanted to help, she didn’t want another pet, as she had a large Russian Blue cat named Nikademous and a Terri-poo dog named Teddy. I told her that the best thing to do was pick up the kitten and try to find her a new home.

You can probably guess what happened. As soon as I saw her, I fell in love with her. She came home with me in a cardboard box and they called her Sufi because she had recently organized a Sufi meeting. She was a long-haired tabby cat with a definite attitude who soon became ‘queen’ of the house and, despite her small stature, she terrified Nika and Teddy.

Nika soon resorted to living in the basement, as she never knew what the little fur ball would do next…me neither. I began to dread going downstairs in the morning and coming home from work. I found one disaster after another.

Things would often shake during the night and he would find plants lying on the ground, or lamps or decorations knocked over. Sufi once sent her food bowl flying off the windowsill where she had put it out of Teddy’s reach. The bowl landed in his water dish, which shattered into several pieces, flooding the kitchen floor.

Every time a visitor arrived, she would jump on his shoulder from the back of a kitchen chair… much to his surprise! This became a serious problem as he got bigger, as he dug his claws in until he got a good grip!

Plants were her favorite toys… except for Teddy’s tail, which she often waggled temptingly in front of her. She loved to hit him from the couch when he came to me for a pet. Her tiny claws would get caught on it sometimes and since she was so small, she would end up shaking it!

Another favorite pastime was playing with toilet paper. If the end was left hanging, it would jump up, catch its little claws in the paper, and run until the whole roll came undone.

Another memory is etched forever in my mind. I walked downstairs one morning and found one of my favorite plants lying on the ground. It’s not that unusual! I was getting pretty adept at cleaning up Sufi, so I put the plant back in the pot and vacuumed up the spilled soil.

The roots of the plant had dried out a bit, so I pulled out the plastic jug I kept under the sink to water my plants. When I picked it up, the handle broke off completely and the pitcher filled with water fell to the ground. I was left holding only the handle!

I quickly mopped the floor, watered the plant and got ready for work as I was now pretty late…and more than a little upset.

I had a date that night after work, so I ran home to take Teddy for a quick ride. When I opened the door, a strange noise reached my ears. He lived alone, so this was a bit disturbing. At first I couldn’t make out what it was, but when I opened the door, I recognized it as the vacuum cleaner!

I cautiously went to the living room where I had left the vacuum cleaner that morning (I hadn’t had time to put it away). It was one of those boat style with a switch on one end and I guess Sufi must have jumped on it and started the motor.

I have no idea how long it was running or how long Teddy was huddled in the corner under a table with a definite ‘bad dog’ look on his face. The vacuum cleaner had always scared him and unfortunately he had left it near her basket. That normally wouldn’t be a problem for him, but when Sufi started the engine, I guess Teddy must have been so scared that he peed on the bed in fear of him!

Sufi continued to be Sufi and causing chaos in the home for a long time, continuing to play with toilet paper and my plants, and breaking my decorations. She over time she learned to behave better, but she is still the ‘queen’.

Why did I put up with all this? You will ask yourself! Well, Sufi had an endearing quality. From the first day I brought her home, she loved snuggling up to my chest right under my chin while I watched TV. Something strange happened when she did this: no matter what challenges she had faced during the day or what she had done to annoy me, my anger just melted away! All I could feel was unconditional love for the little ball of fur that was purring on my chest.

Sufi taught me that when there is unconditional love, everything is forgiven.

As of this writing, Sufi is 12 years old. She is still the ‘queen’ of the house, sleeping at the foot of my bed and ‘catch’ socks and underwear, as she has been confined to living indoors and can no longer chase squirrels or birds. She has a unique way of communicating her displeasure whenever she’s left alone for too long, even though I acquired Sassy as a mate for her a few years ago. (Nika couldn’t stand it, and she gratefully joined another household when I moved across Canada a few years ago.)

But… she also keeps giving and receiving unconditional love. Whenever someone is upset, she seems to sense it and insists on giving them kitty kisses anywhere on their anatomy that she can access, then she snuggles into the person’s lap. It doesn’t matter if it’s me, my daughter or a visitor, she treats everyone the same, unconditionally!