Sexuality is about a sexual relationship, which includes social, emotional and sexual aspects. Long-term, committed relationships are vital to supporting families through the decades it takes to raise children. A woman wants affectionate company but a man focuses on her sexual needs.

We have two sexes, which complement each other by being different. Men see their personal status as central to how others value them. They enjoy erotic fantasies and genital activity. A man is sexy because he responds. Women are emotional. They enjoy love and company activities. A woman is sexy because she works hard to attract a man and satisfy her needs.

If men and women wanted the same things in life, we would have a much easier time getting along. Of course, no two people are the same. So homosexual relationships also involve commitment, but perhaps to a different degree. Over time, people of both sexes may find that they expect something from the relationship and from their sexual partners.

Throughout human history, men and women have faced death in very different situations. Men have died and witnessed the death of others in violent situations such as battles, rescue services, sport, hunting and other dangerous activities. Most of the women have died and witnessed the death of others in domestic situations, such as giving birth and caring for the elderly and sick (often children). So men and women have very different emotional responses because they are vulnerable in different situations.

Most women only engage in sexual activities because they are in a relationship. Almost all of that activity is initiated and driven by her male partner. Women see lovemaking as a demonstration of a man’s love for a woman. Many women dislike the idea of ​​any sexual activity outside of a love relationship. They don’t understand the need for masturbation or other crude and explicit activities. Women do not have an arousal cycle (a reliable progression from arousal to orgasm) like men. Women enjoy the thrills that come from sharing affectionate companionship.

Men focus on penetrative sex opportunities, especially when they are young. Men assume that women want genital stimulation just like men. But women don’t have the sex drive and sexual frustration that focus men on getting sexual relief. It is not that men are incapable of platonic love. But the sexual drive of men means that sexual love is central to their adult lives. Men are motivated by the emotions that come from gaining sexual release. A man feels loved when his sexual needs are satisfied. The male dilemma is how to negotiate sexual opportunities. This is related to the sexual disposition of the partner.

Women have the opposite dilemma. They know a man wants regular sex and feel pressured to provide it. Women often don’t realize that a man wants sex first and foremost and a relationship can go on. Marriage involves a man agreeing to limit his sexual opportunities with other women in exchange for his wife offering him regular sex. Relationships are primarily for the benefit of the woman, as they are necessary to sustain family life.

Men complain that women always want to change them. Women are not happy with men as they are. Similarly, men want women to be just as excited about sex as men. Men want to believe (despite evidence to the contrary) that women are motivated by eroticism. Men want regular sex and they don’t need a relationship to enjoy it. Men grow up in a world where men have more power and money than women. They assume that male superiority is the natural order of things. Men find it difficult to recognize that there must inevitably be some areas (such as relationships) where women outperform men. However, men feel that it is humiliating to learn from a woman.

Men tend to have little natural instinct when it comes to relationships with women. Here are some ideas:

• Do you regularly ask your partner how they are doing? Are you interested in what is important to her?
• What do you want from a relationship? What does your partner want? How do you balance these demands?
• Where are you? At work, worried, never present, not involved? How can you contribute at home?
• Do others respect you? Do you keep fit, do you take care of yourself? When did you talk about problems, honesty, etc.?

There is a tendency in long-term relationships that a partner is taken for granted. We expect a partner to tolerate or accept behavior that we would not accept from another person. This is bad. We need to consider what we expect of our lovers in the context of what we expect of others. Naturally, we expect support, but we must respect those we love. We should treat our lover better than others because we love them.

In general, men were more likely than women to be sexually active, report a good-quality sex life, and be interested in sex. (Lindau and Gavrilova 2010)