Relationship

My Wife Doesn’t Initiate Sex: The Terrible Truth You May Not Want To Know About Your Wife And Sex

Are you in a marriage where your wife doesn’t initiate sex, but you really wish she did?

Well, you are not alone in this at all … it happened in my marriage, and in many (if not most) of other men’s marriages as well.

But it doesn’t have to mean conflict in marriage, end of marriage, or even end of good sex in marriage if you do things right …

Why a wife does not initiate sex …

Before solving a problem, we must first understand it. When it comes to the problem of a wife not initiating sex, there are many things you need to know to realize that your marriage is not necessarily in trouble. But it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not in trouble either. I’ll explain more about that in a minute.

But first let’s clarify a few things. Your wife isn’t initiating sex because … well … she’s not like you. She is connected in a different way than yours. Just because you’re RTG (ready to go) as soon as you wake up until you go to bed doesn’t mean your wife will be. Guys get horny for every little thing every few seconds. It is the way we are connected. We are externally motivated for sex, which is why our brain drives our sex drive from many image situations … and images are in all the damn places.

However, your wife is not like that. She doesn’t look at a banana and she gets horny the way we could look at erect nipples on a mannequin and be RTG, or other simple things that make us almost Neanderthal. His wife is turned on by emotional circumstances. Intimacy, erotic stories, happiness, security … these are all the things that turn your wife on … and ironically they are the things that bore us to death.

So unfortunately for all the men in the world who get upset that our wives don’t act like the women in porn and are RTGs in the blink of an eye, or when a penis is discovered … we have to get over it. and learn to play the game.

We have to realize that if our wives feel things emotionally, then they are not going to initiate sex with you because, frankly, they will not be in the mood for it. In fact, the most we can hope for as husbands is that our wives are willing when we start, and they will take those single-digit times when they start as a bonus.

You will see that many men will get mad at their wives, take it personally and constantly annoy their wives because they do not initiate sex, but they will do nothing to make the woman want more sex, let alone initiate it.

So this is where the problem lies. If your wife does not initiate sex … or more, does not want sex when you initiate it, this might It means that he has some hidden negative thoughts (to you) about you and your marriage. Which means that your lack of sex and your wife’s lack of interest in sex could be indications that your marriage is more troubled than you think. It could also mean that she would be much more willing and open to having an affair with someone who actually made her feel more positive thoughts.

So if your wife does not initiate sex, it could mean that you are doing the wrong thing. It could also mean that this is becoming a deeply ingrained problem in your marriage.

Gaming

La Tules – Monte Reina de Santa Fe

Born around 1800, Maria Gertrudis Barceló The childhood years are still debated among scholars of history, but her subsequent marriage to Don Manuel Antonio Sisneros on June 23, 1823 is recorded in the records of Tomé, a small town about 30 miles south of Albuquerque. Although married to Sisneros, a member of a prominent family, she kept her maiden name. He preferred the attribution of Doña Barceló. As she gained popularity as a player, locals began calling her “La Tules,” a nickname that translates to “the cane,” in reference to her diminutive slim figure.

After moving to Santa Fe, she lost two children in childhood and adopted a daughter in 1826. During this time, La Tules decided to turn her gift of dealing letters and reading to men into a career as a courtesan, Monte merchant, lady and skilled mule trader. He knew exactly how to cash in on the insatiable gambling habits of merchants traveling from Missouri down the newly opened Santa Fe Trail. Working in a public gambling hall, she used her charm and beauty to separate the merchants from their money. Up to 100 Monte tables operated in Santa Fe during this time, with stakes as high as $ 50,000. In 1838, city officials realized that more money was made by issuing gambling licenses than by collecting fines, and they sanctioned the previously illegal activity.

In a few years, he had enough capital to buy a “Room,“or gambling house and parlor, in which she entertained her guests with dances, drinks, lavish dinners, and games of chance. Over time, she amassed a fortune as Santa Fe’s most famous Monte merchant and confidant of some of the New Mexico’s most powerful politicians and military, and religious leaders. This zoo included Manuel Armijo, the governor of New Mexico, with whom he had an illicit relationship that ultimately led to his downfall.

Tea room de La Tules was located on San Francisco Street at the southeast corner of Palace Avenue and Burro Alley where it stretched the width of the entire block. It was a long, low adobe building that eventually sported finely carved furniture from Spain resting on exquisite Turkish rugs. The main bar revolved around a gigantic room. Two additional mahogany bars connected to form a quadrilateral. Large gleaming mirrors adorned the walls behind bars, but overlooked in the gambling casino itself. The elaborate crystal chandeliers with candle rings provided plenty of light. As a final touch, private gambling halls stretched along present-day Burro Alley from San Francisco Street to Palace Avenue along the Plaza. The private gambling halls were strictly for professional players, important visitors, and wealthy people. La Tules attended the operation with a small army of bartenders, waiters, merchants and “hostesses.”

There is considerable debate about its beauty. Some accounts depict her as a dazzling beauty with olive skin, radiant dark hair that fell down a slim neck, and sensual black eyes that gleamed in the glow of chandeliers. They described her as charming, beautiful, graceful, crafty, witty, and brilliant. One writer described her as: “… as a sylph in motion with a slender figure, face with fine features, smooth and dark decent Spanish, thin lines, arched eyebrows, loose dark hair, thin lips, a beautiful woman, with a head firm and proud and the demeanor of a wild cat. ” On the other hand, others described her in less eloquent terms, describing her clothes as “like Eva and scarce, low-cut shirts and short petticoats.” neglected style. Another wrote: “When I saw her, she was richly dressed, but in bad taste, her fingers were literally covered with rings, while her neck was adorned with three heavy gold chains, to the longest of which was attached a huge crucifix. of it. precious metal. “

If you look at the drawing of La Tules that appeared in April 1854 Harper’s New Monthly Magazine he could side with his detractors. She appears as a stern, cigarette-smoking witch, who surely couldn’t justify a description of a tantalizing beauty. On second thought, it could be postulated that the image shown in the magazine was La Tules in his last years, where the wear and tear of the long hours of trafficking in the bush had taken a toll on his appearance. In all likelihood, she was originally a very striking young woman capable of being a magnificent seductress.

There is definitely no debate that La Tules was incomparable in dealing with Monte in his room. Matt Field met her in 1839 and was amazed at her genius in handling letters. He wrote: “A woman was dealing and if you had looked on her face for any symptoms by which to discover how the game was, you would have turned around unsatisfied; for the quiet seriousness was only discernible and the cards fell from her fingers as firmly as though I was only handling a knitting needle. ” In his book Mrs. Tules, Courtesan and Player of Santa Fe, Mary J. Straw Cook wrote about La Tulles. She wrote that, “She dealt night after night, often until dawn, with ‘deft precision’ as the cards’ slipped from her long fingers as firmly as if she were wielding only a knitting needle … With feminine bravado, Skillful tulles and tarnished fingers swept away piles of gold, the result of perpetual practice, as I won over and over again. “

Matt Field, while in Santa Fe one night, watched as La Tules traded Monte into a kentuckian whose stated goal was to break his bank. Later he wrote that the drunk was:

“… swearing that he would make or break before leaving his seat … and drinking to the health of the Spanish lady from the newly filled glass that was handed to him at that time … When daylight was peeking through the door”. cracks, (La Tules) once again swept the table, and the reckless merchant was left without a dollar.

The lady then bowed and disappeared through a side door with the dignity of an empress and the same skillfully modeled smile, followed by her assistant with heavy bags of gold and Mexican dollars. “

One of the legendary tales associated with the queen of the game revolved around those bags of gold and Mexican currency. Because there were no banks in Santa Fe or Taos, La Tules periodically sent some of its large profits to banks in the United States. As the story goes, he sent a team of 10 mules loaded with 20 gold buff bags to the United States with a contingent of armed guards. Somewhere in the desert, bandits attacked the mule train. Before being killed, the guards buried the cache of gold and did not reveal the location. Nobody found the gold and the legend about the “Lost Treasure of La Tules” began.

La Tules was quite politically influential, and although his relationship with Armijo, the last Mexican governor of New Mexico, gained insight into government practices. Politicians. They lived generously off the corruption and heavy taxes of poor Mexicans and American merchants. As the conditions for war with the United States approached, he admitted that the American occupation meant the survival of his people. When the power of Mexico waned and the United States took over the acquisition of New Mexico in 1846, Doña Tules secured her position with a loan to General Kearny of the United States in order to pay her troops, on the condition that she had an escort military to the Victory Ball in La Fonda. It was a luxurious event attended by the upper echelon of the Santa Fe Society.

He was also credited with alerting US authorities to the Mexican-Indian conspiracy of December 1846. La Tules had many opportunities to hear the conspiracy and deception of the Mexicans in his gambling halls. As a result, it is recognized that it could possibly prevent a bloodbath in Santa Fe.

Doña Tules remained a colorful and controversial figure in Santa Fe history until her elaborate and executed funeral, presided over by the newly appointed Archbishop Jean Baptiste Lamy. Catholic Church records say she was interred in Santa Fe on January 17, 1852. Various reports from her biographers have described her funeral as lavish: some say $ 1600 for spiritual services, others $ 1000 paid for the candles alone. . La Tules’ lifetime gifts to charity had granted him access to the highest social circles of Santa Fe and in writing his will; He stipulated a final gift to the church to make amends for its questionable past. He was one of the last people buried within the adobe walls of La Parroquia, the old parish church in the Plaza that was later replaced by the Cathedral of San Francisco. What happened to her remains during construction and possibly where her treasure was buried in the desert is just part of the mystery that continues to intrigue historical researchers about this fascinating “The Queen of Mount Santa Fe.”

****

Historical note: The popular Monte (1800) gambling game is often confused with the “Three Card Monte” sleight of hand. There is absolutely no connection between the two; one is a game of chance, while the second is a “sure” winner for the dealer.

Health Fitness

How to start beekeeping for free

Beekeeping has suddenly become popular again, having been in decline for more than half a century.

Bees have been in the news for all the wrong reasons – colony collapse, pesticide poisoning, and parasitic mites – and all of this bad news seems to have triggered an almost primal desire in people to want to help and nurture this one. vitally important insect that, despite all our scientific advances we still do not fully understand, but we know that we cannot live without them.

For as long as I can remember, the media has viewed beekeepers as harmless and careless old men (mostly), doing arcane things out of strange wooden bee boxes, dressed in suspiciously suspicious garb. However, this picture is beginning to change, with more and more women and young people drawn to the idea of ​​learning this ancient craft and a new urgency in the air about the preservation of our bees for their important role as pollinators, as well as for their own good.

When people first consider having bees, their first port of call will most likely be their local Beekeepers Association. Here you will almost always find a friendly welcome and a host of technical talks between the ‘veterans’, most of which will sound like a foreign language at first. When the jargon is translated, it turns out that one will have to part with a not inconsiderable sum of money in order to buy the ticket to this arcane world: shiny catalogs full of shiny equipment are seductive, but the accompanying price lists can come as a big shock.

Many have shelved the idea at this time.

But it does not have to be like that. It is perfectly possible to become a beekeeper, even a good beekeeper, without spending a good chunk of your hard-earned savings. In fact, as I’ll show you, you can even do it virtually for free!

The next hurdle the aspiring beekeeper must face is the heavy weights one is expected to lift and carry. With conventional equipment, you should be able to lift at least 50 pounds (roughly 25 kilos) of deadlift from ground level, something you should not attempt if you have a slight build and are not used to changing boxes in that class.

Again, this doesn’t have to be the case – I’ll show you how the least fit person can become a beekeeper. In fact, using my system, you could even work in a hive from a wheelchair.

Another hurdle that can dampen newbie enthusiasm is storage space. With conventional hives, you can’t help but rack up all sorts of ‘extras’ – oddly shaped boxes, frames, roofs, extractors, all sorts of things the ‘veterans’ forgot to mention at that first exciting gathering, and you’ll need space to store it. We are talking about a garage space, friends. Once again I have good news: follow my system and you will not need any additional storage space as everything can be stored within the hives themselves.

So what does it really take to become a beekeeper?

The essentials are quite simple: a kind of beehive, a hat and a veil, an old white shirt and, to begin with at least, some gloves, and the agreement of the people who share your living space. It doesn’t matter if you are a city or country dweller, as long as there is an abundant and varied supply of flowering plants from early spring onwards. In fact, bees often do better in well-landscaped urban areas than in the ‘green desert’ of modern industrial farmland.

Like many newbies to beekeeping, I started with a conventional framed hive, the kind that have slanted-sided outer boxes that are familiar from children’s books. Soon, I acquired a couple more and began to realize that if I continued down this path, I would have to build myself a large shed to house all the spare carpentry and other paraphernalia that was quickly accumulating, and there would be a way to pay for all of them. the ‘extras’ you would soon need.

At this point I asked myself: does it really have to be this way? – and that innocent question led me on an exploratory mission of reading, study and experimentation that showed me conclusively that, no, it doesn’t have to be this way: beekeeping doesn’t have to be complicated, expensive or dependent on pieces made to order. machine. And equipment.

My search for an alternative approach led me to the top bar hive, one of the oldest and simplest hive types, requiring little skill and few tools to build. A good start on the road to sustainable simplicity, but is it a practical hive for modern beekeeping?

After a few years of experimenting and testing various designs, I believe I now have a top bar hive design that is easy to build, practical and productive while being comfortable and easy to use for both the bees and the beekeeper. .

So what are top bar hives?

The principle is simple: a box with sticks on top, to which the bees place their honeycomb. Mine have central side entrances, slanted sides, and a couple of ‘follower boards’ to enclose the colony. There are many variations on this theme and all have the essential guiding principle of simplicity of construction and management. There are no frames, no queen excluders, no ekes, no mouse guards, no risers, no foundations and there is no need for extractors, settling tanks, filters, stripping knives … in fact there is no need for any other equipment or storage space, other than that provided within the hive itself. And if you’ve just spent an hour flipping through vendor catalogs, wondering how you can afford to have bees, it will be a relief!

Building a top bar hive is no more difficult than shelving and can be done using hand tools and recycled wood. Top bar beekeeping really is ‘beekeeping for everyone’ including people with disabilities, back problems or a reluctance to lift boxes – there is nothing heavy once the hives are in place as the honey is harvested from a honeycomb at once. From the point of view of the bees, the top bar hives offer a weather resistant shelter, the opportunity to build a honeycomb according to your own design, without the limitations of the artificial wax base, and minimal alteration, thanks to a “ leave alone ” management style.

So where do you get bees from?

You can buy them or catch them, or if you are lucky, they will adopt you! Catching or luring a swarm is by far the most fun and much easier than you might think. Bees swarm in response to their breeding instinct, primarily in spring and early summer, and the sight of a swarm in flight is certainly impressive. However, contrary to popular belief, this is the time when you are least likely to get bitten – your only concern at that time is finding a new place to live. So if you offer them the right kind of accommodation at the right time, such as a cozy, pleasant-smelling hive, they are very likely to move in on their own. Many people become beekeepers by luring a passing swarm with a few drops of citronella or lemongrass oil, or better yet, rubbing the inside of the hive with pure beeswax.

Capturing a swarm isn’t difficult either – hold a basket or cardboard box under its soccer-ball-sized cluster on a tree branch and shake it well! It is not always as easy as that, but it is rarely as difficult as pulling a cat out of a tree.

If you think you want to have bees, I suggest you first meet a local beekeeper who is willing to let you visit and handle their bees. Most beekeepers associations have ‘meet the bees’ days in the spring, giving newcomers a chance to see inside a hive and test their responses when surrounded by bees.

And bites? Yes, they will sting you from time to time, no matter how careful you are. Local swelling, redness, and itching is a normal reaction – fainting, shortness of breath, and collapse are true allergic symptoms and are life-threatening. Most people who keep bees become less sensitive to stings over time, but sometimes the opposite is true, and an experienced beekeeper can become allergic suddenly on occasion. So if you have any reason to assume that you may be sensitive to bee venom (only one in 200 people is), be sure to bring Benadryl or an Epipen (adrenaline shot) or make sure whoever is with you is properly equipped to deal with an emergency.

Whether you approach it from the point of view of conservation, entomology, crop pollination, or simply a love of honey, beekeeping is an engaging pursuit and a fascinating window into the natural world.

Bees are in trouble right now, due to pesticides, industrial agriculture, pollution, parasitic mites and viruses, and we need all the ‘natural’ beekeepers we can get to increase their numbers and give them a chance to solve. their own problems. So if you want to have bees, build a hive before swarming season, and you could be tasting your own honey at the end of the summer!

Lifestyle Fashion

He does not want a serious and committed relationship because he has already been hurt

Sometimes I hear from women who want nothing more than a commitment from the man they love, but find resistance and excuses. A common excuse men will give if they have been hurt before and are afraid of hurting themselves again. This can leave you unsure of how to respond, as well as assuring you that you don’t mean to hurt him.

I heard a woman say, “We have been dating for eight months. I love my boyfriend very much. In fact, I would love to marry him. The other day, I asked him if we could talk about our future together and he immediately interrupted me. He shook hands and said, “I’m not ready to commit to a serious relationship because I got burned out so much earlier. I just don’t want to get hurt again. “I tried to get more information out of him, but he shut me down and didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Later, I asked his sister about this. She told me that a couple of years ago, he felt head in love with this girl and got engaged. They were planning their wedding when he found out she was cheating on him. His sister told me that he was devastated and not himself for some time. This is so unfair. Why do I have to Do it? Pay for this other girl’s mistakes? I would never cheat on my boyfriend, but now he’s not committing to me because she hurt him. What can I do about it? “I will address these concerns in the next article.

Just because he’s been hurt before doesn’t mean he’ll never commit to you: Understandably, this young woman feared that due to the other woman’s behavior, the man she loved would never commit to her. This simply does not have to be the case. If it were, far fewer people would be getting married today. Most of us have had our hearts broken and shattered before meeting our spouse. In fact, many of us swear that we will never again be left vulnerable to this kind of heartbreak, and yet we are finally cured, meet the person we were supposed to be with, get married, and are quite happy.

Her boyfriend saying he didn’t want to get hurt again was not the same as him saying he would never marry her or get engaged. In essence, I was saying that I had reservations, but I think they are reservations that could probably be exceeded. Yes, you have to be patient with him and loving while you wait. But often when you do, you will be rewarded in abundance.

How to deal with a man who has commitment issues for fear of being hurt again: It is a very common inclination to want to immediately assure him that you are different and that you would never hurt him. This is not a bad idea as long as you do it in a loving and reassuring way rather than implying that all of this is not fair to you. In fact, I would avoid talking about the injustice of this whole situation, although I fully understand your frustration.

You have to remember that your man did not ask to be hurt by this other woman. In fact, he was acting in good faith and trying to marry the woman he loved. He was acting very honorable and this was in no way his fault. So you can understand why you got hurt and why you might be reluctant now. And it is very important that you make this clear to him. Do not belittle her feelings, tell her that she should have gotten over it by now or that you may not make a big deal out of the situation. Instead, comfort him, tell him that you understand him and that you are very sorry that this happened to him. And then reassure him that you would never act that way and that you have no intention of doing anything other than loving him and making him happy.

After that, continue as you did. Because frankly, you’ve been making him happy. Things have gone well. Yes, you are unsure due to someone else’s actions and this is not entirely fair. But like I said, people get over this kind of pain all the time and move on. Yes, sometimes it takes a while. But often, all they need is an understanding person with whom they can have a successful relationship next time. However, if you dismiss his understandable reservations and try to pressure him, he may eventually put you in the same category as the other woman.

Be very careful about your answer and also approach it in a spirit of understanding and patience. Doing so will help you overcome your reservations. And, once you are able to do that, you will realize that there is no reason for you to be afraid of your relationship because it is the one that is going to heal you.