Sports

Cabinet Session: Artest’s Bomb Ticks

It will only end in tears.

Sure, ESPN has wasted millions in airtime pontificating (as only they can) about the benefits of acquiring problem players. You’ve seen the highlights: Dennis Rodman kicking people around, Terrell Owens doing sit-ups in the driveway, Darryl Strawberry wiping white powder under his nose, Steve Howe returning to the Yankees after his thousandth drug suspension. Did you know? For once, I agree with the Boys from Bristol. The Sacramento Kings’ deal for Ron Artest is fool’s gold. The idea that Artest will suddenly be a good citizen in the most boring city in the league (alright, Salt Lake City and Orlando, I see you waving your hands) is nonsense. Oh sure, he’ll be on his best behavior for a couple of months, and maybe even make it to the playoffs without being filmed shirtless and in flip-flops, barging and yelling at the opposing team’s bus. But eventually, and soon enough, the Kings will wish they had never heard his name.

I guarantee you, they didn’t budge much: Peja Stojakovic seems uninterested these days (although Indiana can try it for a couple of months, and if they don’t like it, they get a lot of slimy cap). relief to let him go). But my argument is that a healthy NBA franchise shouldn’t have faced Artest even for free. He’s just a spoiled, immature jerk with personal issues that make Robert Downey Jr. look like the Dalai Lama. You’ll wake up to your tea and scones one morning, turn on the subway, and learn that Artest has barricaded himself in a Denny’s and refuses to come out unless Michael Jackson frees Blanket. Or he’ll be driving home from work, tune in to sports radio and hear a report that Artest is in trouble because his latest rap song calls for the overthrow of the Brazilian government. Really, that’s the only fun left for guys like Artest and TO: the impossible spectacle of their inevitable detonation.

Of course, before they detonate themselves, they will most likely detonate their teams. Best of luck, Sacramento.

What was your impression of the AFC and NFC title games? How did the public do betting on those games?

Greg Jorssen, BoDog: Surely the two Jakes didn’t come to play last Sunday, right? Plummer lived up to the belief that he can’t do it, and the Seahawks did an amazing job shutting down the Delhomme/Smith passing attack. Public betting did pretty well on the Steeler win as they jumped on the Pittsburgh bandwagon, however, they didn’t fare too well on the Seahawks win. Oddsmakers were betting heavily on Carolina, based on the Seahawks’ strength on the schedule vs. Carolina’s, and the Panther road record. Guess they forgot about Seattle’s secret weapon: The Twelfth Man. Boy was the stadium rocking on Sunday afternoon! The only thing that saved the books last weekend was that the final scores wiped out most of the teasers. Since both wins were landslides, this helped turn what should have been a losing day for the house into a winning day.

We’ll have another week to really dive into Super Bowl analysis, but what’s your first impression of the Pittsburgh/Seattle lineup? I’m not asking for a pick, just your thoughts as an expert on how the line got to where it is, if you expect it to move, etc…

GJ, BoDog: The line opened up as expected and should finally settle around Pittsburgh -4 ½. Two things spring to mind as to why an AFC #6 team would be the favorite over the NFC’s #1 team. First is the strength of the schedule. Seattle ranked last in schedule difficulty, which was expected considering the poor season the NFC West showed. The Steelers, on the other hand, were in ninth place, and a fair amount of their losses were due to key injuries. The second factor is, of course, emotional. People love underdogs and will ride their bandwagon to the bitter end. I expect some big money later in Seattle; However, it is already clear that the house will cheer for the Seahawks!

How many prop bets do you expect to see on the various boards? Do you have a favorite from the past that you remember? Anything particularly funny or outrageous?

GJ, BoDog: I can’t speak for the other books, but bodog will have over 150 endorsements in the Super Bowl. Every year’s favorite is, of course, the coin toss, which nets us a tremendous mango. As for the scandalous, the one that comes to mind is our support on the length of the National Anthem! We don’t offer that one anymore, because it was too hard to modify (some singers love to be in the spotlight). We also had endorsements during the 2001 Super Bowl about whether Shaq would outscore the St. Louis Rams, and we’ve had similar endorsements every year since. Hmmm, after Kobe’s performance on Sunday, maybe a line on whether Kobe will beat both teams in the Super Bowl… let me work on that!

Switching gears completely: I guess if Kobe Bryant scored 82 points the other night, you missed out on a big bet, huh? What’s the deal with Kobe taking 81 off his tuckus?

GJ, BoDog: The Lakers are now “The Kobe Show,” and he is someone who now put an early stamp on the MVP award. The big question is: why didn’t the Raptors double it down? Did you think that it would eventually settle down, that it would eventually fail? No wonder they lost to the Israeli National Team! At halftime, Kobe decided to take matters into his own hands, because the Lakers were so far behind such a bad team. He had no choice but to do it himself, and I really don’t think there are many others in this league who can do what he did. Many will say that this is bad for basketball, that it is a team game, etc. I don’t buy that. Kobe stole the headlines of both NFL Conference Championships. One man changed the sports focus from the NFL to the NBA. That in itself is just amazing. People don’t say he’s the “next Jordan” anymore. After his performance on Sunday, he will be known as “the first Kobe!”