Autism is not a disease or an entity. It is not something we should seek to eradicate. Rather, it is a way of being, a general term to describe how one relates (or does not relate) to the world. If we look at autism as an entity, a “thing”, then this leads us to develop programs that seek to transform the person into something that is not, will not be, and cannot be. It makes us seek to alter the person by force, coercion, and manipulation.

Behaviorism has sought to modify the person, the existential approach rather seeks to understand. The way in which the autistic person behaves should be seen as a form of communication, possibly the only form of communication that they can possess to describe their joys, sadness or anguish. The autistic world is often misunderstood, one can see the person waving their arms and see this as “strange” and in need of suppression. But if we look inward and explore the meaning behind this action, we may find that it is telling us something, it is indicative of how that person feels. It is one of his few ways of being able to share his experience.

I met a 5 year old autistic boy who did not speak. He walked into the office and began tapping on the computer keyboard. The secretary’s immediate response, as usual, was to suppress this behavior and make it go away. Instead, I told him to let him go. We had a ball pit in the center of the room, and I told the boy that if he wanted to keep hitting the keyboard he would have to pick it up and throw it into the ball pit. It continued, and I picked it up and threw it. He got out of the ball pit and went back to the keyboard. This time, he didn’t hit the keyboard, but instead reached out for him and then fell back into my arms for me to throw him into the ball pit. He laughed and laughed and then spoke the words, “do it again.” I was impressed. The relationship was the key to this interaction and an emotional connection was forged. I entered his world, he reciprocated and entered mine.

I worked with an autistic boy who was blind and had leg paralysis. When frustrated and overwhelmed, he sometimes needed a helmet because he hit his head. Many would reject any attempt to relate to him as “too handicapped” or “too worrying.” But even here, he worked on evaluating his surroundings, seeking to alleviate those things that caused him anguish and overwhelming. And emotional connections could be made with him despite their challenges and differences. I let him take the initiative and, at times, he would hold my hand and guide me around his house. Despite his blindness, he knew his surroundings by touch. He enjoyed listening to music and had a game that he played where he covered himself with blankets and laughed. These were important emotional connections that should not be ignored.

A child with cerebral palsy may be autistic, a child placed in sensory deprivation conditions may be autistic, a child exposed to a toxin may be autistic. Autism is simply a term that we have decided to use to label how a person has developed and relates differently to the world. If I am an American and I travel to a foreign country and I don’t know anything about the culture or the language, I am obliged to fight. If I am an American traveling to a foreign country but have learned some of the language and culture, it will be much easier. I think this is the direction in which programs to help autistic people should be heading. Not to alter the person, but to help them be themselves and at the same time have an understanding of the “mainstream” and be able to navigate through it.