The ability to send text messages from ANYWHERE on the planet is something new and gives relationships something they have never had before … the ability to keep our relationships exciting, even if we are separated from our lovers.
Now the hard part is trying to be creative and erotic on your own. While sometimes it just gets off your tongue, figuring out what to say is pretty easy. Other times, you might get a sexy message and be flabbergasted about how to respond.
Below is a list of obscene messages to use when you can’t see the person you want, and your goal is to make them think OBSESS about you and the fact that they can’t have you right now.
Some of these obscene messages are funny, some are serious, so use them wisely and don’t use them randomly. Sometimes the humor when you’re having a seriously sexy conversation can spoil the mood.
1. Hello. I am horny.
2. I just thought how amazing you are. And how cool I am. Let’s connect!
3. If you were the new McDonalds burger, you would be the McSexy!
4. You are so sexy !!
5. I love you right now.
6. The idea of you turns me on!
7. Can you send me a photo so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
8. I can’t wait to see you later
9. You are SO hot
10. I love your body
11. I’ve been thinking about you ALL day
12. You make me want to do BAD things to you … and myself;)
13. I’m so h * rd / w3t right now
14. I would give anything to be with you right now!
15. I’ll be waiting for you later … naked;)
16. You can do whatever you want
17. The fact that I can’t have you right now makes me want you MORE
18. What would you do to me?
19. I’ve never been so turned on by someone!
20. I have NEVER loved someone the way I love you
21. You would look so sexy getting off me 🙂
22. Nobody loves me!
23. I want you so much that I don’t notice anyone else
24. I’ve never met someone who turns me on like you!
25. You have the cutest ass on the planet, is it real?
26. Hey, I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend / boyfriend!
27. What are you wearing?
28. Your body makes me happy
29. I’m not wearing underwear … maybe I can put it on later
30. Hello, I am a thief and I am here to steal your heart.
31. Can I be your slave tonight?
32. Do you know that your hair and my pillow are perfectly coordinated in color?
33. God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
34. I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
35. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
36. I wonder what our children will be like.
37. I’d like to name a multiple orgasm after you!
38. I’ll make you dinner if you make me breakfast.
39. I have a condom with your name on it.
40. Imagine this, you, me, bubble baths and a bottle of champagne.
41. What do you like for breakfast?
42. Why don’t you surprise your roommate and come home tonight?
43. Do you want to marry me just for one night?
44. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money ?;)
45. Don’t be so picky … I wasn’t! I’m just kidding I love you
46. You love me. I can smell it.
47. Damn … your butt is fine! Do you want to come see mine?
48. You are like pizza. Even when you are bad, you are good.
49. I would lose my wallet just to see you right now
50. I’m in one of those ‘you could do whatever you want’ moods. Too bad you’re not here.
51. Do you have grapes? (No.) So how about a date?
52. Milk is good for the body, but how much did you drink?
53. Do you sleep on your stomach? (If I can not?
55. I say did we see each other again later last night?
56. Hello. My name is (name). I will be your toy tonight.
57. Are you a virgin? (No.) Try it!
58. My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling …
59. So what did you think of me last night? Pretty cool, huh?
60. You’re on my list of things to do tonight.
61. OH GOD! OH GOD! Just practicing;)
62. Do you know how to use a whip? eh eh
63. I’m drunk 🙂
64. Didn’t anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me ??? I thought you knew!
65. Hey babe, do you want to get LUCKY !?
66. Your house or mine?
67. Will you come home with me tonight (Jedi mind trick)
68. I’m gay, do you think you can convert me?
69. I’m just looking for a friend with benefits (Uhm?) No, not sex. A car, nice things, etc. Get your mind drain.
As always, we had a lot of fun putting together this list. We know we’ve missed some BIG dirty conversation lines, so feel free to comment on some of your favorite posts.