When I worked at a national newspaper after leaving university and heading to the gold-paved streets of London, the receptionist for the entire paper was also a model: at that stage of my life, I had never met anyone so attractive in my life. real. Every day she would come in and try to be nice, even try to be cool, and then I knew she had made a fool of herself!
Why did I react that way towards her? Why was it that she became so successful? Do you ever respond to people with a lack of confidence? And what about those other people from my school? My friend knew almost nothing about them as people, he had never heard them speak, but his success was not a surprise to him…
They all had a certain air about them, that without even opening their mouths, all these people could have a hypnotic effect on those around them. It is this hypnotic body language that I want to talk about today because it can help you achieve more and stand out more without really having to do much more than slightly alter your non-verbal communication. I’d like to share with you 3 ways that are key to improving your own success.
3 keys to hypnotic non-verbal communication:
1- Genuine smiles and real laughs: I remember as a child, when my parents would invite friends over for dinner, my mother would always tell me to make sure to smile and show my teeth when I smiled when guests arrived (I was never enough cheeky enough to snarl when I did, though I was tempted). My mother knew that, on an intuitive level, smiles produce positive reactions in people.
I’m talking about a real, authentic smile here. A smile that has come from the depths of you and that expresses happiness. A natural smile produces wrinkles around the eyes and face, insincere people smile only with their mouth. Genuine smiles often come from your unconscious mind, people can feel, see and feel that they are real. A real smile means that you smile with your whole face: the muscles of the mouth move, the cheeks lift, the eyes crinkle, and the eyebrows dip slightly.
So smile more. Also, smile with enthusiasm, fun and joy. He really smiles at the world.
The reason photographers use ‘cheese’ is because to say that word you have to pull your facial muscles back, but it often gives an insincere smile. How many photos have you seen that show that smiles are full of cheese and not genuine?
There is some scientific evidence to support the widely used saying “when you smile, the world smiles with you”.
Professor Ruth Campbell of University College London claims that there is a ‘mirror neuron’ in the brain that activates the neurology responsible for the recognition of facial expressions and is the cause of an instantaneous and unconscious mirror reaction. In other words, whether we realize it or not, we very often unconsciously mirror the facial expressions we see.
So if you smile a true and genuine smile more often, the people around you smile more genuinely, that means they feel good around you. You are creating a better immediate environment for yourself and those around you. How do you feel if you are walking down the street and see someone with one of those deeply unhappy or angry faces? Science has shown that the more you smile, the more positive reactions people give you.
Do you laugh more if you watch a funny movie with friends or alone? Robert Provine found that laughter was more than 30 times more likely in people in a social setting than when they were alone. He found that laughter has less to do with jokes and funny stories and more to do with building relationships. Laughter creates a bond.
When you smile (a genuine smile) at another person, they almost always smile back with a genuine smile of their own, which leads to really positive feelings in both you and them; by cause and effect. Create a cycle of well-being: you smile and they feel good, they smile back and you feel good, and so on.
Studies show that most encounters work better, last longer, have more positive outcomes, and dramatically improve relationships when you push yourself to smile and laugh regularly to the point where it becomes a habit. I guess you already knew all this, but are you really smiling that much? Recent research suggests that we smile 400% more as children. How often do you genuinely smile at the world today?
2- Confidence – Something that I obviously lacked when I was younger; embarrassingly responding to the Newspaper receptionist.
I remember seeing a documentary about a murdered schoolgirl in the UK. The girl’s parents gave a press conference to ask for help in capturing the murderer. It was the fall of the assassins. The manner in which the father communicated during this press conference led the police to suspect that he was investigating and ultimately obtained evidence that he killed his own daughter.
Many criminals are caught not because the clues point them out, but because they act guilty, self-conscious, and lack confidence. These feelings communicate enough for suspicion to arise.
When we are internally congruent and more importantly confident, our body language becomes confident and this is communicated to the world.
Psychologists tell us that we can change our attitudes by changing our physical actions. Therefore, adopting the physiology of confidence can help you appear and, in fact, be more confident. Think about how you hold your body when you are confident and keep it that way more often: cause and effect means that holding your body this way will make you feel more confident too.
I remember reading David Schwart’s brilliant book “The Magic of Thinking Big” a while ago and he gave me 3 brilliant tactics to improve confidence with just your body:
First of all, he recommended being a ‘front seat’. Whenever you go to theaters, classrooms, meetings or presentations, the last few rows always seem to fill up faster, don’t they? Most people go to the back so they are not too conspicuous and this often shows a lack of trust in that person. Start sitting up front today, comfortable in the sight of others, and develop the confidence to be there.
Second, making good natural eye contact says a lot about confidence. If someone avoids eye contact, we can begin to wonder what is wrong with him or what he has to hide; maybe even holding something back. Lack of eye contact can suggest that the person feels weak around you or is afraid of you in some way. Conquer this and force yourself to look the person in the eye, you don’t have to stare! It is enough to look into their eyes long enough to tell them that you believe in yourself, that you are honest, open, trusting and comfortable with who you are.
When you seem confident and believe in yourself, the other person tends to subconsciously agree with that view that there is something worth knowing about you: if you don’t feel confident or feel good about yourself, why not? should someone else be? This is communicated unconsciously beyond consciousness, often with those wise ‘gut feelings’.
The other great tip David Schwartz gave is to walk 25 percent faster. I know when I was taken to football games to see my beloved Nottingham Forest when I was young, my dad would always tell me to slow down because he was excited and excited about my destiny.
Psychologists associate slovenly posture and slow walking with unpleasant attitudes toward oneself, work, and the people around us. But psychologists also tell us that you can change your attitudes by changing your posture and speed of movement. The action of the body is the result of the action of the mind, and vice versa, as I have already said; cause and effect! The person with low morale drags his feet and literally stumbles through life with little confidence. In the same way, average people have an average walk. You can see it and feel it.
Confident people move deliberately, they have an important place to go, and they are going to be successful every time they get there. Open your chest, throw your shoulders back, hold your head up high, take pride in who you are, move a little faster and feel your confidence grow. It doesn’t have to be dramatic, just hold your body confidently.
3- The right side of the brain: Most people are right-handed and as such have all the emotional aspects of their experiences and lives stored in the right side of their brain and the motor responses and practical use of the brain exist in The left side. side of your brain.
Evolutionary psychologists debate this, most tend to believe that we all have six basic emotions. Everything else is a derivative of those. Those six core emotions are: Happiness. Surprise. Disgust. Fear. Anger. Sadness.
What is worth noting here is that only two of them are considered really good. If we’re honest with ourselves, only one is guaranteed to be good, right? With April Fool’s Day just over, I remember how much I ‘enjoy’ the surprise!
The vast majority of our emotions stored in our brains are unpleasant in some form. It is true, bad things tend to stand out much more in our minds than good things.
So if you’re going to respond to anyone’s right brain, you might be subconsciously associating yourself with all those emotions stored in the right brain. You don’t want to do that.
To use this information to help you in life then when you meet someone for the first time; position yourself so that they have to look slightly to the right to see you. Look into your right eye when you shake your hand. I believe in this to the point that my photo is on the right side of the page on my websites, in my offices I position my chair in such a way that my clients have to face slightly to the right when communicating, etc. .
So, there are three powerful things to keep in mind when it comes to improving your success and achievement levels without saying a word.
Notice how when you smile genuinely and enthusiastically; when you carry yourself with confidence and resonate with the right parts of the brain, you begin to resonate with the whole world much, much more progressively.